my behavior is always negotiable, but when you open a negotiation by moralizing about it, you've already told me that you expect to get whatever you want for free, so there's very little reason to *not* treat you like a loudmouth asshole
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if one were to generalize anything from that to the misgendering and slur examples, i guess the question for those people would be "what is the benefit that you are getting from doing these things that makes it worth the costs you're imposing on others, to you"
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I think you're right in your case but the existence of the misgendering case means that generalizing the experience is difficult at best.
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