when i hear about people suddenly developing theory of mind as a breakthrough in couples therapy, it really points up how strong a life strategy it is to just do what you see other people doing our society is so generous you don't need to understand anything at all to get by
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There may be a disconnect here. To me "suddenly developing a theory of mind" means e.g. developing gestural communication or that sort of thing, not "realizing when you yell at someone they might not like it" or whatever.
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oh, no, i mean stumbling on the idea that other people have desires and goals like you do rather than being oddly shaped pieces of lumber that move in particular directions if poked in particular ways
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