one kind of person who fully understands that minimizing suffering is not something that should properly be made into a goal is people who have lost a deeply loved partner
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so you hold onto that pain as long as you damn well please. now, there are probably ways to rework that part of you to not be raw and to give what’s left of your loved one a comfy place to live in your head
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i can’t tell you how to do that any more than i can learn something *for* you, but maybe you can work it out. but this is very different from “letting go” because people want to coercively minimize your suffering. don’t ever feel you need to knuckle under to that.
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if you’d like to read a gorgeous treatment of this through a blessedly distancing science fiction metaphor, pick up Iain M. Banks’s Against a Dark Background. also has lots of things blowing up
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hey guys i found this cool chart of things that are more important than minimizing sufferingpic.twitter.com/sTOniBXuAk
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