how to make money as a biologist: 1) get a list of bacteria that occur in feces. you will be referring to these as "fecal bacteria". 2) take a sample from a surface inside a restaurant, or other facility intimately involved with the human body, owned by a major corporation.
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5) have a credulous journalist publish your findings. (or cut one in on the deal, but why in the world should finding a credulous one be hard?) 6) wait to be bought off with a backchannel payoff, grants to work on something very different suddenly coming your way, etc. 7) PROFIT
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