a good way to make sure nobody ever maps you to ingroup so strongly that they feel horribly betrayed and compelled to destroy you when it turns out that you think for yourself sometimes is to make jokes built on the humor models of different social groups
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It's just -- it's possible to use humor that way just like it's possible to kill people with a fork. That doesn't mean that everyone wielding a fork is intending to murder you. But sure, the murderers will also insist that they were just eating lunch.
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Humor is allowed to break social mores because the whole point of it is to do the unexpected -- that's where the humor comes from. It's not meant to normalize things -- if you normalize the thing you're joking about it wouldn't be funny anymore.
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