a fun way to try to keep somebody trapped in a relationship is to take the past hostage: you declare that if they stop doing what you want now, then that means they never cared about you, i.e. you threaten to retroactively reconstruct their motivations as monstrous all along
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I have come to conclusion that attempts to seriously analyze shitty ex motivations are counterproductive.
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i'm surprised you even believe in motivations
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*always* demand that the hostage be shot
End of conversation
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