my best friend in high school was the son of former Speaker of the House and famed child molester Denny Hastert. i stayed over at Denny Hastert's house. he had a Jeep with the license plate "USHR 1" way before he was Speaker, the cheeky fucker.https://twitter.com/mhoye/status/1010355444815101953 …
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some raggedy guy comes up and asks Hastert kid to watch his jacket for a minute. HK agrees. then raggedy guy *convinces HK to give him his jacket as security* and promptly disappears forever. after we work out that HK's jacket has been stolen, HK goes through raggedy dude's.
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naturally there are some quite serious drugs in the pocket. HK kicks the idea around for a couple weeks and eventually decides that instead of trying to cook up DMT from the recipe in the Anarchist's Cookbook like he was going to he's just gonna go with the ready-made shit.
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liked it fine i guess? we were graduating and starting to lose touch around then so i'm not sure if he got a habit or anything. last i talked to him he was bragging about the sex cult he had started around some communal blood-drinking ritual he made up. good times.
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ALLEYS FOR THE ALLEY GOD
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