i work in HIV prevention in Chicago, and more than half of all new HIV is transmitted in what people think are monogamous relationships. our culture pressures people into monogamy, and look, people lie, people cheat, people are jealous, people have different sexual desires...
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...& we don’t always have space within monogamy to say those things, so people keep lying people keep cheating people keep deceiving — and that shit IS toxic. and people act like all that dishonesty is what monogamy is, but it doesn’t have to be. that’s the toxicity, not monogamy
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my partner & I are intentionally monogamous. we MADE the choice to commit to one another, with an understanding that relationships evolve over time and that can look lots of different ways. but most couples don’t have those conversations UNTIL something happens, usually cheating.
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I wouldn’t say most. Maybe plenty. But obviously I understand a relationship with someone can become toxic but i wouldn’t blame that on their faithfulness to each other as much as on their individual actions and behavior
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I can hear that, but I also think it’s about shared expectations of what faithfulness means, which we know not everyone talks about or has a shared understanding of. I’m 100% for monogamy. I’m also 100% for that being paired with complete honesty.
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i appreciate the consideration of perspective. twitter isn’t known for nuance or diversity of thought, and i am grateful any time a differing opinion doesn’t spiral into a trash fire
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You so eloquently phrased this. I was just talking about this whole subject with my fiancé, discussing how the societal pressures imbedded in monogamy don’t really leave room for radical honesty (with the self & each other), often leading to communication gaps & hurtful events.
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Good mythology*


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Mfs wanna be three liberated for me these days lol
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The only thing that concerns me is seeing asl as "as hell" instead of "age/sex/location"

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You aint from Chicago g lol
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The person is toxic the person's behaviors are toxic but monogamy is not toxic. People need to start owning their behaviors . Monogamy is not toxic if applying it as it is defined monogamy in word and the spirit of the word is healthy.
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We talk about toxic masculinity while knowing that masculinity in itself is not toxic. I think the same should be applied to the idea that monogamy has the potential to become toxic because of unchecked ideas within that inherited system.
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1/1No I dont say toxic masculinity I say a toxic man. I place the behaviors on the person who is exhibiting the toxic behavior or else you blanket a whole group for a percentage of the group. Toxic masculinity is another dog whistle phrase.
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A dog whistle meaning what? The phrase toxic masculinity is really dealing with the aspects of masculinity that are brought on by societal pressures and hurt both women and men, mentally and physically
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It doesn’t mean masculinity is toxic. It’s the expectation to be a certain type of man that is and that is systemic and widespread, thus the phrase. “ toxic man” makes it seem like a micro problem, it’s not
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impressed with lyrics and your ability to not blink the whole time
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