Caroline RothsteinVerified account

The first time I learned how to live in my own body was dancing to @JanetJackson’s “Rhythm Nation” album on rocks next a friend’s swimming pool at her family’s Passover Seder in Palm Springs. I was 7 years old. #JanetJacksonAppreciationDay

I had taken up ballet at age 3. I had always loved to dance. And then being there on those rocks in the California dusk watching how my friend Carly moved her body on account of this music helped me break. It was the most important break.

So many of the times in my life when I broke, I broke. Like painful, suffering broke. This moment was the anchoring of all the triumphant breaks. Janet’s music helped build the foundation for my ultimate healings and recoveries. Her music taught me how to live in my body first.

I learned that my body could twist. And turn. And shake. And undulate. And move. And feel. That music could change and impact and usher my body, not only my brain or heart. Janet’s music quickly became the foundation for my own craft as a lifelong artist, writer, and performer.

Janet’s music was the first place I learned to actually dance, not only literally, but also metaphorically. I think of Janet and I am a child on my back in my living room choreographing a dance to “Throb” and I am exploring consent.

I am a young child, gyrating my hips and creating my foundation for expression and consent. I will later be sexually assaulted and raped. And when I heal, it will be my learning my body through Janet Jackson’s music that will help usher me to heal.