Kanye will be free soon.
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Cat Bin Lady
@CatBinLady
I have momentary abberations. We all do.
Cat Bin Lady’s Tweets
I broke a window to save Brenda’s new dog from a hot car, and now she’s moaning that I should have let her finish parking.
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Brenda’s goddaughter was showing off about having the biggest present under the tree, but it didn’t even support my weight.
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Next door have put the bunting out. Everyone looks very relieved that it didn't spread to the house.
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In the video shop. Trying to explain to a middle-aged man that the Twilight films weren't aimed at him. I just wanted them away from me.
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I couldn't finish all my pancakes, so I've scraped the rest through next door's letterbox, for their children.
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The Valentine cards Brenda's goddaughter got at school have had to be taken off her because of all the crude things that got drawn on them.
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Here is a special seasonal extract from my book. Merry Xmas, loves. catbinfever.com/2011/12/23/fes
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I've got a book. This is a chapter from it. catbinfever.com/2011/11/24/out
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I've thrown a Guy on Brenda's bonfire. Now she's claiming there wasn't a Guy and she can't find her laundry bag.
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If you get the electric version of my book, nobody's goddaughter can scribble all over it. amzn.to/ryMGGu
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I told Brenda it was a ghost that rearranged the letters on her fridge into rude words, but I was pointing at her goddaughter as I said it.
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On my third attempt, I've manage to get a copy of my book through next door's bathroom window. They can pay me later. catbinfever.com
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Dinner at the golf club. I've asked the waiter about a couple of unusual things on the menu. He's asking me if I drew the one in the toilet.
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Brenda has just shown me a drawing on her fridge that her goddaughter has done. I didn't say anything, but I hope she's been punished.
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Brenda's goddaughter is enjoying her Easter egg hunt. She saw me kick it, so she has a rough idea which garden it's in.
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I've persuaded Brenda that what I did in her bathroom yesterday was for charity.
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Brenda just called to forgive me for pancake day. I've offered to help redecorate.
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Thank you to everyone who voted for me in the Loaded LAFTAs. I won 'Funniest Twitterer'. I'm just trying to live my life.
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My niece is insisting the tiles I've handed her weren't brought down by the bad weather. Now I'm not allowed to use her bathroom any more.
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Thank you for all your support this year. I've resolved to be an even better friend and neighbour in 2011. Happy new year, loves.
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I've just pointed out that someone has vomited into Brenda's xmas tree. Fingers are being pointed in all directions.
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Being festive. I've just thrown a snowball at Brenda's goddaughter. Brenda's refusing to pour me another one.
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Brenda just handed me a tiny porcelein figurine her goddaughter bought her. I've promised to help look for it once the snow eases off a bit.
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A week's gone, so I told Brenda it's safe to go back to the unexploded catherine wheel. Now she can't get the nail out of the coffee table.
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Took in a parcel for next door today. We had a giggle in the porch when I mimed jumping up and down on it. She'd have loved this afternoon.
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I've just pointed out that some eggs have been thrown at Brenda's window. She's saying it can't be trick-or-treaters as they are outside.
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I've just kicked a pumpkin in the face. Brenda's in the kitchen talking about something clever her godaughter has made that I have to see.
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There's a strange, spooky noise coming from next door's garden. I'm not scared. I'm making it.
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Brenda has just proudly shown me her new water-resistant watch. It's turned out not to be flush-resistant.
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Wedding list shopping with my niece. I'm in charge of the barcode reader while she's with the assistant. I'm adding horror DVDs.
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In the park with Brenda and her goddaughter. Her kite is stuck in a tree. It's still in the packaging.
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At a job interview. They're saying they've never seen anything like what I've done on my aptitude test and the desk. Quietly confident.
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It's my birthday. Brenda has given me a new Ladyshave. I've just tested it on her living room carpet.
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