carter

@carterhambley

my “brand” is loving my adult sons unconditionally (he/him)

chicago
Vrijeme pridruživanja: srpanj 2015.

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  1. Prikvačeni tweet
    9. ruj 2019.
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  2. prije 9 sati

    the thinker // the thought

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  3. prije 19 sati

    if i saw Hozier frolicking in the woods I would slowly approach him with my arm outstretched, so he could get used to my scent, and then feed him a carrot as I pet his mane

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  4. prije 20 sati

    in a shocking turn, it appears the app built to nominate the next Road Runner was designed by the Acme Corporation

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  5. 4. velj

    wow...this says a lot about our society

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  6. 3. velj

    when a chef on Chopped makes gnocchi that is dense instead of pillowy

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  7. 3. velj

    i have a zero-tolerance policy on Instagram stories. if it even LOOKS like you’re about to sing, i unfollow. If i so much as catch a GLIMPSE of a ukelele, I block and report

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  8. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    2. velj

    when a restaurant starts making their own ketchup ....... oh! babe u don’t need to do that

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  9. 3. velj

    congratulations to the winning team of rich strong boys, and my condolences to the losing team of rich strong boys

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  10. 2. velj

    this call was tough but fair!!!

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  11. 2. velj

    La-Z-Boys are the leather bomber jackets of chairs. Even brand new they feel like someone’s grandpa died in them

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  12. 2. velj

    there has been a horrible mixup and the kansas city chiefs have just punted punxsutawney phil to death

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  13. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    Odgovor korisniku/ci

    WE NEED A JAMES BOND WITH BAD DICK WE NEED A JAMES BOND WITH BAD DICK WE NEED A JAMES BOND WITH BAD DICK WE NEED A JAMES BOND WITH BAD DICK WE NEED A JAMES BOND WITH BAD DICK WE NEED A JAMES BOND WITH BAD DICK WE NEED A JAMES BOND WITH BAD DICK

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  14. 2. velj

    we need a james bond who is bad at sex

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  15. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    2. velj

    why does everything orcs make always look like shit. where are their artisans

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  16. 2. velj

    me logging on and replying “you, my good sir, have just won the internet :3” to every Andrew Yang tweet

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  17. 1. velj

    finally, a prestige drama for the PEOPLE

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  18. 1. velj
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  19. 1. velj

    having a big dick is sooooooo overrated i assume

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  20. 1. velj

    every sex playlist is either called something like 𝓥𝓮𝓵𝓿𝓮𝓽 𝓢𝓴𝓲𝓷 𝓸𝓷 𝓢𝓪𝓽𝓲𝓷 𝓢𝓱𝓮𝓮𝓽𝓼 or Songz 2 Fuk 2

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  21. 31. sij

    can you tell her there’s a rule that one person can’t hog all the premium white meat chicken chunks in the ALDI chicken salad

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