If anyone looks at “incel” culture and somehow concludes that feminists don’t care about lovelessness or loneliness, we’ll, you couldn’t be more wrong. Read the wonderful books All About Love and Communion by bell hooks for starters.
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How would you reply to incels who feel they have been shut out of normal dating? Who may have tried and failed many times to get laid the right way, by just going on tinder and going to bars, and keep striking out, over long periods of time, not months, but years or decades?
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To clarify, you're not wrong! But many if not most incels feel they were pushed into incel, pua, whatever culture by long term sexual frustration, not because they thought it looked cool. What do you suggest they do to satisfy that frustration, without "hating the gatekeepers"?
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The problem is not the sexual frustration but rather the idea that thy are owed that gratification, the specific targeting of women as the root cause and the haphazard use of genetics as a poor excuse for how things work in real life.
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If you have had problems with intimacy for so long either you havent found the right person or the problem is with you. To scapegoat a ehole population its wrong, misguided, irresponsible and detestable.
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This right here is exactly the issue! You've said it very well. If someone has had those issues for an extended period of time, say a decade or longer, they will quite reasonably be looking for answers as to what the issue is. To say they "haven't found the right person"....
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........or that "the issue is with them" may be correct, but it's almost not useful, because it's doesn't do anything to solve the sexual frustration itself. It's people in places like these who become vulnerable to the pua mindset, who can be indoctrinated into....
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....irresponsble scapegoating and placing blame. The sexual frustration itself needs to be addressed (in my opinion, because sex workers have been pushed into the shadows) then the rest of the scapegoating becomes untenable.
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As someone who works in mental health, I believe its better to adress what is at the core of this sexual frustration rather than selling sex as a common good. No ones self worth should revolve around the capacity to have sex and its not a desire that should simply be appeased
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there's a lot of horrible takes out there that treat sex as this fungible good that incels are being denied.
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