It can be tough for cis people (like me) to understand, though I think I do now. Is the reason it is so taboo because of the discrimination trans people face? Because it seems like otherwise it would be like a maiden name, no big deal (in a perfect non-transphobic world).
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I think there are a number of reasons but one is that it's a callback to an identity that we don't identify with and that we've usually worked very hard to assert that we're not. I may not have used the name Carolyn when I was younger but in a sense I was always Carolyn.
End of conversation
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