The dude wasn't an asshole, beyond the degree to which anyone who foists an unwanted hard-sell shpiel on anyone else is an asshole. He wasn't deliberately misgendering me. He was repeatedly using the honorific as a way of trying to win me over. I'm just fucking invisible.
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And it's not the kind of thing that can be fixed by "correcting" someone. That isn't validating to me, when people are corrected into gendering me correctly. What I need, what we all need, are people we love and are deeply connected to who see us as we are. I don't have that.
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Just went back to Target. The same smooth-talking hard-sell employee (who I heard say to another customer, “I’ve got your back” while giving some deal shpiel) passed me in an aisle and said “How you doin’ today sir?” I exploded. “Would you please stop saying that? I’m not a sir!”
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So yeah, I guess I’m a little on edge these days.
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End of conversation
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Oof, did you correct them?
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No. I wasn't interested in his hard-sell shpiel to begin with, I just looked for my first opportunity to end the interaction without cutting him off and walked away.
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Sometimes I feel like experiencing profound, soul-crushing loneliness in midlife is just a universal constant. And then I remember that it isn't?
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Sorry that happened, it sucks assholes can ruin our day so easily
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But he wasn't an asshole. He was just unobservant. He wasn't deliberately misgendering me. I'm just fucking invisible.
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