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carolynmichelle's profile
Carolyn Petit
Carolyn Petit
Carolyn Petit
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@carolynmichelle

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Carolyn PetitVerified account

@carolynmichelle

I'm just an animal looking for a home. @Kotaku.

Berkeley, CA
Joined April 2008

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    1. Carolyn Petit‏Verified account @carolynmichelle 29 May 2019

      Once in a great while, my sympathetic nervous system chills out & my parasympathetic nervous system kicks in, & it's like coming back to life. I'm filled with emotion & desire & I take real pleasure in things. It rules. But for the life of me, I can't figure out how to stay there

      1 reply 0 retweets 18 likes
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    2. Carolyn Petit‏Verified account @carolynmichelle 29 May 2019

      It's as if my sympathetic nervous system's programming for vigilance is too good. I can trick it into briefly relaxing for a little while with a particular technique, but then the SNS kicks back in, and that technique never works again. The SNS develops an immunity.

      1 reply 0 retweets 10 likes
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    3. Carolyn Petit‏Verified account @carolynmichelle 29 May 2019

      "You may have gotten me with yoga once, but now I'm wise to your tricks! I won't fall for that again. Mindfulness?! HA! I've improved my security systems against that one." And so on.

      3 replies 0 retweets 9 likes
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    4. Start your new career in Marx!‏ @Ghost_Tess 29 May 2019
      Replying to @carolynmichelle

      I'm so sorry that happens. It sounds like an anxiety feedback loop. Almost like, on some level it's expected to fail (even subconsciously) so a small amount of anxiety remains, keeping yourself in that state of panic.

      1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
    5. Start your new career in Marx!‏ @Ghost_Tess 29 May 2019
      Replying to @Ghost_Tess @carolynmichelle

      It's like the mental trap of TRYING to sleep. The more effort you put in, the more awake you become and on some level you need to let go in order to fall asleep. Cycles like this can take years to get out of and worse, putting in effort doesn't always help.

      2 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
      Carolyn Petit‏Verified account @carolynmichelle 29 May 2019
      Replying to @Ghost_Tess

      Oh, absolutely. The times in my life that have represented the longest, most significant reprieves from the dominant vigilance of my sympathetic nervous system were periods in which I wasn't TRYING to make anything happen. But these (thus far) have never lasted very long either.

      11:39 PM - 29 May 2019
      • 1 Like
      • Start your new career in Marx!
      1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
        1. Start your new career in Marx!‏ @Ghost_Tess 29 May 2019
          Replying to @carolynmichelle

          I wish it were easy. I suffer from cptsd from family trauma. It took me 10 minutes of crying before I could say the words. "I survived" which summed up that I don't need to be hypervigilant any more. But actually stopping the hypervigilance has been a daily struggle.

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