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carolynmichelle's profile
Carolyn Petit
Carolyn Petit
Carolyn Petit
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@carolynmichelle

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Carolyn PetitVerified account

@carolynmichelle

I'm just an animal looking for a home. @Kotaku.

Berkeley, CA
Joined April 2008

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    1. Carolyn Petit‏Verified account @carolynmichelle 28 May 2019

      Testosterone had done a REAL NUMBER on my face, and while some trans women get really great results from FFS, my results have left something to be desired. I'm still misgendered all the time, stuff like that.

      1 reply 0 retweets 10 likes
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    2. Carolyn Petit‏Verified account @carolynmichelle 28 May 2019

      Which is not at all to say that I regret having FFS. I don't. I can see myself in the mirror a little more clearly now than I could before. It's reduced my feelings of dysphoria a bit, if not nearly as much as I once hoped it would.

      1 reply 0 retweets 12 likes
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    3. Carolyn Petit‏Verified account @carolynmichelle 28 May 2019

      And the truth is that I sometimes get depressed, or even bitter, about my appearance, and the fact that I'm still seen the way I am in the world. But not because I think all the pieces in my life would magically fall into place if I looked different.

      1 reply 0 retweets 9 likes
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    4. Carolyn Petit‏Verified account @carolynmichelle 28 May 2019

      No, it's more like this: Right now, some part of me is ALWAYS on guard against the next misgendering, the next insult, the next reminder that everywhere I go, all the time, people see and process the fact that I'm trans, and that this gets factored into their perception of me.

      1 reply 0 retweets 11 likes
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    5. Carolyn Petit‏Verified account @carolynmichelle 28 May 2019

      And if I could just figure out how to make this voice go away, or be quiet most of the time, if I could move in the world with a little more confidence, a little less fear, inhabit my body a little more fully and without shame, then how I interact with others would be different.

      1 reply 0 retweets 10 likes
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    6. Carolyn Petit‏Verified account @carolynmichelle 28 May 2019

      But I also know that women, cis and trans, are constantly self-conscious about their appearance, their "flaws," and so on, because our culture constantly tells women that their appearance is paramount. So many women, to greater or lesser degrees, experience some measure of this.

      1 reply 0 retweets 11 likes
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    7. Carolyn Petit‏Verified account @carolynmichelle 28 May 2019

      And yes, physical appearance does matter. It does effect how we're perceived and treated. Sometimes it does effect the opportunities that are available to us, in our personal lives, in our professional lives. It's silly to pretend otherwise.

      1 reply 0 retweets 11 likes
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    8. Carolyn Petit‏Verified account @carolynmichelle 28 May 2019

      And so some part of me wants to reach out to these men with some measure of empathy, to say "Look, I'm sorry you're hurting. I'm hurting too. Lots of people, cis and trans, women, men and nonbinary folks, are hurting...

      1 reply 0 retweets 12 likes
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    9. Carolyn Petit‏Verified account @carolynmichelle 28 May 2019

      ...Let's look at the cultural issues that are actually at work here, what they say to you as men, what they say to us as women, let's have a conversation about this that comes from a place of empathy, that understands that being alone, that not finding love is hard."

      1 reply 0 retweets 13 likes
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    10. Carolyn Petit‏Verified account @carolynmichelle 28 May 2019

      But so much damage has already been done. The way these men feel that they are owed something specific by specific other people, the cold, transactional view of it all, the way the whole incel worldview dehumanizes women rather than recoginizing THEIR desires and inner lives.

      1 reply 0 retweets 15 likes
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      Carolyn Petit‏Verified account @carolynmichelle 28 May 2019

      I don't even know where I'm going with all of this. I just get so frustrated. I feel like a humanizing empathy is essential here, but also like the soil has been scorched and I don't know how to plant the seeds and cultivate a more human conversation in these men's lives. /FIN

      7:41 PM - 28 May 2019
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      4 replies 0 retweets 28 likes
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        2. Psychogony, MD‏ @Psychogonically 28 May 2019
          Replying to @carolynmichelle

          I think we can let ourselves be led by our empathy, but it will only take us so far. The ammount of things that go into making an incel transcends the singular concept of loneliness. That part is somewhat universal, as is feeling physically unworthy or insufficient.

          1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
        3. Psychogony, MD‏ @Psychogonically 28 May 2019
          Replying to @Psychogonically @carolynmichelle

          But to truly cope with the rest of that identity would be to try to understand what it means to feel entitled to sex, or think that human being’s value is based in their sexual prowess or genetic predispositions, amongst other things.

          1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
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        2. Tinker Tailor Soldier Wooloo‏ @MockWooloo 28 May 2019
          Replying to @carolynmichelle

          I do get what you mean. I'm a lonely, insecure, single, depressed, isolated cis man with dire social skills and serious issues with my own appearance myself. I sometimes wonder if I could have fallen down the incel pit if things had been different somehow.

          1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
        3. Tinker Tailor Soldier Wooloo‏ @MockWooloo 28 May 2019
          Replying to @MockWooloo @carolynmichelle

          But I can't see different how, exactly. I can see so far into that mindset, but I just can't comprehend the final step that goes "Therefore women are subhuman monsters who you are entitled to possess."

          1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
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        1. Daniel Esquivel‏ @DanielEEsquivel 28 May 2019
          Replying to @carolynmichelle

          It's going to require an ocean of patience since they believe so desperately that they are irredeemable that they go out of their way to prove it. , If mental health services were much easier to get a hold of, I think many incels could benefit greatly from irl group therapy.

          0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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        2. lies‏ @LIESsasdasdasdq 28 May 2019
          Replying to @carolynmichelle

          I think incels inability to cultivate normal relationships should be removed from this discussion, imo. Many nonviolent and kind people struggle with the same thing. What incels have is the same predicament with a toxic worldview regarding women.

          1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
        3. lies‏ @LIESsasdasdasdq 28 May 2019
          Replying to @LIESsasdasdasdq @carolynmichelle

          Fixing the one issue won't fix their misogyny (which I believe is likely independent of their other issue). Plenty of men have an easy time connecting to others/meeting women, but they also have the same worldview as the incels regarding women in society.

          1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
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