It is weird, holding the simultaneous awareness that I could never in a million years be president—I’m not politically savvy, I stammer & meander & fumble for words all the time, there’s INFINITE other reasons—and yet if, for some reason, I were, I’d be SO much better than Trump.
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i humbly volunteer my service as chief of staff, which my my definition means that i'll say "yeah, uh-huh? can do." a lot, and then calmly walk into the next room to take a slug of whisky and do thirty seconds of intense googling
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