the big problem of my life is that my youth and adolescence taught me to always be vigilant, always be on guard, and so the whole system that governs appetite, sleep, sex drive, which only functions properly when we're NOT extremely stressed, is completely busted.
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i know it can be fixed, i know it's still in there, struggling and sputtering, but it's tough. years of therapy and it's still a work in progress. close connection is an essential piece of the puzzle. and that's still missing.
11:28 PM - 29 Jan 2019
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