One thing that's missing or at least severely downplayed in a lot of discussions around appropriate online behavior and holding people accountable for things they've said in the past is an acknowledgment and analysis of power.
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Friendly reminder: We live in a white supremacist patriarchy, not an enlightened, equitable utopia. It is not "racist" or oppressive to insult, criticize or condemn that system or the fact that it benefits certain groups at the expense of marginalizing others.
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Thank you for spelling it out. This should be obvious but is definitely not - and lots of initially well-intentioned white men bump against this wall of "but they get passes and I don't, how is this equality?" which then makes them vulnerable to anti-leftist propaganda.
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