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In terms of pizza, the REGAL PERIOD is like . . . wait . . . hold on a sec. What happened? Where did the pizza go?? There was a pizza here, I swear. Huh. I guess you'll just have to imagine it.

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In terms of pizza, the EARLY REPUBLIC is like a plate of mini pizza bites. Not sure you can make a whole meal out of this, but it's a tasty snack.

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In terms of pizza, the MIDDLE REPUBLIC is like a veggie pizza. You rarely think to order it, and it's the last one left at the party. But whenever you eat it you're reminded how good it is. "Hey, I should have this more often."

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In terms of pizza, the LATE REPUBLIC is like a slightly out-of-hand everything pizza. Lots of ingredients here, folks. Graduate students preparing for PhD exams have often asked, "Did we really need ALL of these toppings?"

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In terms of pizza, the AGE OF AUGUSTUS is like a New York style pepperoni pizza. Classic and unquestioned, it simply exists (in the realm, we might say, of Bourdieu's *doxa*). Iconic. Canonical.

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In terms of pizza, the EARLY EMPIRE is like a half-and-half pizza, the wild toppings on one side representing Julio-Claudian shenanigans (the "Suetonius half"), and the simplicity of the other the steady administrative work of empire (the "epigraphy" half). Grab a slice of both!

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In terms of pizza, the HIGH EMPIRE is like a bank of frozen pizzas at Costco. Insiders will insist that "it's actually pretty good." Outsiders are not convinced.

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In terms of pizza, the THIRD-CENTURY CRISIS is like the monstrosity that is (was?) the California Pizza Kitchen. Enter at your own risk.

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