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  1. Prikvačeni tweet
    18. ruj 2019.

    opening a spa called resting bitch face where women can go to rest their bitch faces in peace

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  2. prije 7 sati

    paying 62% of my taxes, they’ll get the general idea

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  3. democrats in 2024: we’ve heard your complaints and have retired the broken caucus process. introducing our new system... BABY CAUCUS. it’s the same caucus you know and hate but now it’s a little baby.

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  4. 4. velj

    unintelligible processes created by white men, now is your TIME

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  5. 4. velj

    you expect me to learn the rules of football and caucuses in one week, grow up

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  6. 3. velj

    our health care system is so broken but it refuses to go to the doctor, it just keeps buying healing crystals and ordering $6 turmeric tonics

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  7. 3. velj

    i won the super bowl of googling coronavirus symptoms

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  8. 2. velj

    we’re moving closer to the super bowl and oscars being on the same night, extremely bad news for the football player in every high school movie who secretly dreams of being in the school play

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  9. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    11. srp 2019.

    me: could i get health insurance jobs: free pizza! me: a raise jobs: pizza friday!! me: a paid vacation day jobs: mamma mia you love-a the pizza pie

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  10. 1. velj

    i want it to be societally acceptable for me to act like i’m 8 years old so i wish i was born on Feb 29 or a man

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  11. 1. velj

    delivering a state of the union address during your own impeachment trial is the "going on vacation with your significant other when you know your relationship is falling apart" of government

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  12. 29. sij

    YES i only want to wear party dresses NO i do not ever want to attend a party

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  13. 29. sij

    my writing practice? every day i do mourning pages, where i spend hours thinking about all the things i haven’t written.

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  14. 29. sij

    putting on a cute little old-fashioned miner’s outfit before mining my whole life for content

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  15. 29. sij

    my grandma: why don't you get a job where you use your french me: i can say "jam" and "scuba diving"

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  16. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    28. sij

    One nice way to feel better about yourself is to imagine what Steve Irwin would say about you if you were a little snake he found in the desert

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  17. 27. sij

    sometimes i take a break from negative self-talk to do negative self-talk about other people

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  18. 22. sij

    an epigraph is just a highbrow away message

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  19. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    22. sij

    1/3 In 2000, Germany passed a law that looks a lot like part of the Green New Deal endorsed by a bunch of the Democratic candidates. On this episode of ’s The Impact podcast, we fly to Germany with to see how it’s played out.

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  20. 21. sij

    should i get a personality or a really cute cat

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  21. 21. sij

    i just want to be as passionate about anything as horse girls are about having a braid that touches their lower back

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