Caitlin Bitzegaio

@caitorade

comedy person * Hoosier * Dolly fan * hiker * co-host *

New Jersey, USA
linktr.ee/caitbitz
Joined August 2008
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  1. 1 minute ago

    are ever going to see Annie Potts on Hacks or is life just fucking bullshit?

    Undo
  2. 3 hours ago

    I didn't need to live long enough to see Bette Midler get intellectually bodied by Stephen Miller on Twitter dot com. Jesus could have spared me this one thing.

    1 retweet 5 likes
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  3. 9 hours ago

    thanks to & for notes along the way!

    6 likes
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  4. 9 hours ago

    Hey! My beloved Katy Dahmer character is finally in print! Thanks to !

    OK, I'm just going to address that you've been sort of frozen and scared ever since I said Jeffrey Dahmer is my brother. I get it. (by )
    1 reply . 2 retweets 14 likes
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  5. 9 hours ago

    two, three times a day I think about how I'd like to do the Dairy Queen upsidedown Blizzard trick

    5 likes
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  6. 21 hours ago

    When Kris starts talking about how "Marshall" is the best thing that ever happened to Kim with no sense of irony? that's it for Millennials, we're done

    1 like
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  7. 22 hours ago

    I just realized that Kim K and Eminem are end game. I will not sleep.

    1 reply . 7 likes
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  8. Retweeted
    23 hours ago

    Mel B.+ Emma have such charming chemistry on The Circle i will not sleep until they have their own reality show. It’s called “spice up your life” and they help people… spice up their lives. SOMEONE MAKE IT HAPPEN.

    3 retweets 8 likes
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  9. Retweeted
    May 12

    How can I get on this writing staff!??! As a scam expert and host of I earnestly want to be a part of this! this is the most honest I’ve ever been!!

    After spending the last 13 years trying to “fade into obscurity,” the unwitting prototype to the era of the female scammer is ready to return to the public eye
    3 replies . 14 retweets 24 likes
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  10. May 12

    my net worth just doubled because I discovered I have unused TodayTix credit

    4 likes
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  11. May 12

    every Thursday I have to wake up and watch 36 hours of television

    14 likes
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  12. May 11

    It's time for Patti LuPone to host SNL. Yes, I'm willing to help write it.

    15 likes
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  13. May 11

    This press release feels like when a family just buys the ADT sticker instead of the whole security system.

    It has been reported that a new infrared camera has been installed in The Hayes Theater to more closely monitor audience members of Take Me Out
    1 like
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  14. May 11

    Real Housewives has gotten so high stakes as to be meaningless. Years ago, Joe Giudice and Albert Manzo got in a fight about where the old KFC was in Patterson, NJ. So visceral and real, still dying to know who was right.

    1 reply . 13 likes
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  15. May 11

    when someone who follows 500k people follows me I'm like "hell yeah, now I'm a part of something"

    7 likes
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  16. Retweeted
    May 11

    Codify Roe.

    55 replies . 150 retweets 1,492 likes
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  17. May 11

    there's no one on the other end of Julie's phone

    3 replies . 6 likes
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  18. May 11

    this is relatable

    1:23
    An unoccupied house on stilts in Rodanthe, North Carolina, as it collapses into the ocean this afternoon. Was worth $381,200 according to Zillow.
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    4 likes
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  19. May 10

    a lot of stuff just clicked for me

    Disney: Family fun! Nickelodian: Parent's suck don't they?! Let's cover them in slime while you file a motion in court to legally emancipated yourself
    1 retweet 4 likes
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  20. May 10

    so wait, today is ANOTHER day? how many are there??????

    3 replies . 5 retweets 51 likes
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