I found this scene in White Men Can’t Jump helpful - @rosieyakob and I reference it a lotpic.twitter.com/WYyEPP5l11
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I found this scene in White Men Can’t Jump helpful - @rosieyakob and I reference it a lotpic.twitter.com/WYyEPP5l11
It depends: when I was ill (I'm fine now!) I wanted solution ideas, or ideas to reduce the problem. But no, when I say I am going to the post office, I don't want to be told the best route to get to the same post office I always go to.
Oh God, this is #1 thing my husband & I fight about. Me: "Cooking dinner was a nightmare tonight. She wouldn't let me put her down." Him: "Well she is ill. Did CBeebies not work? Maybe just do ready meals this week?" NO NO NO! Just say "That sounds shit. Have wine." It's easy!
Without trying to SOLVE Them. Tbf my Mum is the same but she has a personality disorder. Women just want to have a quick, often hilarious, whinge fest. They can solve their own problems.
“Billy, when I tell you I’m thirsty it doesn’t mean I want you to bring me a glass of water. I want you to sympathise.” White Men Can’t Jump, 1992.pic.twitter.com/lThRXmc3m5
It might be a generational thing but certainly some men were bought up ‘ fix things’ and this then transposed to people and their feelings - I hope younger people don’t feel this pressure and understand listening and hearing is often enough - that’s progress for all
Caitlin you are fucking great anyway, but you are fucking GREAT for asking this question x
ditto this - then was simply told, and I was like "ohhhhhh, I see!" The urge to 'solve' still bubbles up sometimes, but I know better now.
That’s solved that one then.
I, too, have learned this. Why did it take 18 years?
But I get this in reverse from my (older) sister. Sometimes when I tell her stuff, all I really want is 'Oh dear. That sounds crap'
My older sister does the same. Is your sister the eldest in the group of siblings? I have a feeling that might be important
There's only me n her. She's 6 1/2 yrs older. Very much attached to starting sentences with 'Why don't you....'
Mine too.. But the weird thing is I know she primarily does this to us (her younger siblings), and not husband, children, friends, colleagues etc. In our case I think it's some part of a family-dynamic where she believes it to be her responsibility to fix everything.
Oh exactly. I've just been on the phone to her...and had 10 mins of seething anger. My dogs got worried. Call me an arse but; I'm a graduate, I'm 50, have run a media co for 24 yrs, actually employed her for 20 yrs.....but apparently I'm not capable of making a single decision
We’ve always operated a system where we take turns in ranting, and fully expect the other one to nod sympathetically while thinking about something completely different. Works for us.
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