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cachanchan
@cachanchan
Wildly inappropriate but your mom likes it.
screwstonJoined June 2008
cachanchan’s Tweets
Let's be honest: The documentary they were making before the Blair Witch killed them would have sucked
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So now has kept my money and has lied to me through several levels of service. It's astounding that a company is so poorly run.
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That moment when you're in crisis and you don't seem to have a single friend...
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A smile is contagious. Spread the love.
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Can we pls stop with how to look as radiant as models? They're young. Duh. I want to know how that British bitch from RHOBH looks so good.
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Three hours at a cigar bar pushing scotch no one can buy in League City. Awesomely productive Saturday. Twice washed hair still stinks. 🔪
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Remember when Guess Who's Coming to Dinner was "controversial" but sought to create understanding? What are we doing, America??
I look out into that crowd of Trump sweatshirts and red trucker hats and I lament the fact that at least Hitler had Hugo Boss. #Inauguration
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Why don't I tweet anymore? Twitter, I love you. I'll be better. Not just for tweets from and . But, mainly for that.
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No booze at a party is like no tears at a funeral. Fucking weird.
When you wake up with blood under your nails and you have no idea where you are...
I just got a notice from my cc to verify a generous tip I left. I do what I want, Master Card. Stop taking your name so seriously.
Feeling like shit but it's making me better so I'm making it work.
Hey, ! You can't take my money and not respond when your product is defective. It's been more than five days. Fraudulent.
Just entered to win a $2000+ shopping spree! goo.gl/T7fYFa
Totally not spam. These brands are awesome. Gimme!
Brunch w/ Dr. Moore & he was explaining memory neurons & I felt so blissfully happy. I had no idea such things could feel so lovely as a Mrs
"Bad taste is incurable." Wise words.
Just discovered this emoji and it's literally the face Scotty gives me all day long. #oppositesattract
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Spoke to the claims dept for my disability pay while I'm on medical leave. I was asked, "Is the chemo making you feel better?" Um, what??
Plebs, it's for all "intents and purposes" not "intensive purposes." You're welcome.
Scotty says we can only play trivial pursuit if I promise not to complain that the questions he gets are too easy.
S: How did you do that?! Me: I tried to move the pick in the glass and sloshed. S: But you've been drinking for, like, 40 yrs.
It's perfectly acceptable to make your next cocktail when you haven't finished your last when… instagram.com/p/BFXZ1tOL6Me/
I always get steroid crazy and bedazzle or paint a pair of shoes. Newest creation. instagram.com/p/BFJ6BKcL6BK/
I'm just going to go on record and say that all of you helped create this lil monster. instagram.com/p/BFJehmgr6Nr/
Scotty told me that he loves me more than pepperoni spaghetti. This engagement is so legit.
Drunk dialed my grandmother again. Seriously, that's whom I call when wasted.
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New glasses on fleek. instagram.com/p/BCEhxo6L6F2/
It would be super awesome if my new kidney meds didn't make me ravenously hungry as well as unbearably nauseated.
I feel so antsy. Fuck you, meds that make me crazy but keep me from dying.