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  1. Retweeted
    31 Dec 2016

    Happy New Year everybody. 2017 is going to be so much better than 2016 even though we're bringing along all the same people!🎉

  2. Retweeted
    20 Nov 2016

    Your candidate who was going to defeat ISIS is currently at war with Saturday Night Live and a Broadway musical.

  3. Retweeted
    7 Jul 2016

    Last night my friend asked to use a USB port to charge his cigarette, but I was using it to charge my book. The future is stupid.

  4. 8 Nov 2015
  5. Retweeted
    18 Mar 2015

    Sorry it's taken me years to reply to your text, I'm still searching for an appropriate gif.

  6. 24 Dec 2014

    First Christmas for this pup 🎄🎁

  7. Retweeted
    22 Dec 2014

    North Korea's Internet is offline. Sony should quickly release 'The Interview' and we'll just all pretend it never happened.

  8. 16 Dec 2014

    This cutie with her first Christmas tree 🎄 @ Maple Row Farm

  9. 3 Oct 2014

    ...anddd this is why I can't have nice things

  10. 27 Mar 2014
  11. Retweeted
    22 Mar 2014
  12. Retweeted
    2 Mar 2014

    If only Bradley's arm was longer. Best photo ever.

  13. 2 Feb 2014
    Replying to

    RT : WE ARE GOING TO NEW JERSEY! Those words will never again be uttered with such enthusiasm.

  14. Retweeted
    24 Jan 2014

    Man down!

  15. 23 Jan 2014

    RT : The Opening Ceremony uniforms for the U.S. are ... definitely something

  16. 22 Jan 2014

    Going to invent a job that is located on the East Coast from May-Oct and the West Coast from Nov-April. Any ideas?

  17. Retweeted
    15 Dec 2013

    I'll never see eye to eye with whoever coined the phrase "wintry mix." I probably would've just gone with a series of groaning sounds.

  18. 15 Jan 2014
    Replying to

    : Sitting and Health: Is sitting worse than smoking? did you buy our standing desks yet?

  19. 29 Dec 2013
    Replying to

    @lindsayanngill made the same mistake… 🙈

  20. 7 Nov 2013

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