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  1. Retweeted
    23 May 2014

    Boys, beers, boats! @TomsTweets3

  2. 1 May 2014

    Hell is like a country music radio station

  3. 15 Feb 2014

    I have only ever had a female dog, so every time I encounter a dog that dog is addressed as her

  4. 4 Feb 2014

    @thenextmikej53 I see how it is

  5. Retweeted
    13 Jan 2014

    congrats for the golden ball, you deserve it. All the best.

  6. 9 Dec 2013
    Replying to
  7. 22 Nov 2013

    Gambled with the world's richest only to lose like a common man

  8. 23 Jul 2013

    And I'm getting paid for it

  9. 23 Jul 2013

    I've been giving strippers rides all day............in my golf cart

  10. 20 Jul 2013

    I want Avril Lavigne

  11. 15 Jul 2013

    Regular tacos are just as portable as the walking taco

  12. 5 Jul 2013

    @thenextmikej53 holla atcha boy

  13. 4 Jul 2013

    Recently our government has done some shady shit to lessen the respect of this great nation, but today we think in the past not the present

  14. Retweeted
    4 Jul 2013

    Whenever I pee in the ocean I'm always worried something's gonna try to nibble on my dingus

  15. 31 May 2013

    I wonder if people on motorcycles ever text while driving

  16. 27 May 2013

    I love not man the less, but nature more

  17. 18 May 2013

    Do you ever experience the sense that you belong in a different era of time?

  18. 12 May 2013

    AZIZ!!! You're act tonight made me feel good and I laughed frequently, so thanks I guess

  19. 9 May 2013

    A performance in every bottle

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