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brownian19's profile
nick
nick
nick
@brownian19

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nick

@brownian19

raised in stem, stretching out into myth, meditation & meanings. keen for conversation.

Canberra, Australia
nickaustinbrown.github.io
Joined October 2018

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    1. QC‏ @QiaochuYuan Sep 24
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      What I suspect is that I spent the last several years running on fear, and I spent most of last year running on hope. Hope felt a lot better. It felt incredible! But it turns out hope has all of the same problems as fear.

      3 replies 5 retweets 30 likes
      Show this thread
    2. QC‏ @QiaochuYuan Sep 24
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      The shape of my hope was this: all I have to do is this feelings stuff, and then people will love me. And then I won't feel so alone. And then everything will finally be okay.

      2 replies 0 retweets 25 likes
      Show this thread
    3. QC‏ @QiaochuYuan Sep 24
      • Report Tweet

      QC Retweeted QC

      https://twitter.com/QiaochuYuan/status/1134955528545755136 …

      QC added,

      QC @QiaochuYuan
      The problem with being powered by hope is that you can't look at things that you sense would cause you to lose hope. The hope becomes intertwined with a fear of losing hope. You get addicted to it and it distorts your behavior. I hurt someone I cared deeply about this way.
      Show this thread
      1 reply 0 retweets 21 likes
      Show this thread
    4. QC‏ @QiaochuYuan Sep 24
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      It took the almost complete dissolution of my most important group of friends for me to begin to understand that hope wasn't the answer any more than fear. That, in fact, there was nothing I could do that would make it all okay.

      2 replies 1 retweet 27 likes
      Show this thread
    5. QC‏ @QiaochuYuan Sep 24
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      I have been slowly losing hope over the last year, and I want to be very clear that I think this is progress. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do the things I want to do in the world without risking hurting people. I don't know, yet, how to act without hope.

      6 replies 1 retweet 36 likes
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    6. QC‏ @QiaochuYuan Sep 24
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      What I do know is that there is something I care about, and that something matters.

      2 replies 0 retweets 24 likes
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    7. QC‏ @QiaochuYuan Sep 24
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      I'm gonna spend a decent chunk of the day trying to say nice things to strangers on Kind Words if anyone would like to join me:https://store.steampowered.com/app/1070710/Kind_Words_lo_fi_chill_beats_to_write_to/ …

      6 replies 1 retweet 38 likes
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    8. QC‏ @QiaochuYuan Oct 3
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      Commentary on this thread from my friend and mentor Pete Michaud on Facebook, re: emotional capacity, reproduced with permission: https://www.facebook.com/qiaochu/posts/10156289323935811?comment_id=10156303178865811 …pic.twitter.com/W4nC7Hq96Y

      2 replies 8 retweets 24 likes
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    9. Jacob Falkovich‏ @yashkaf Oct 3
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      Replying to @QiaochuYuan

      Very interesting! But how would you measure the "bigness" of emotions if not by contrast to the strength of your system 2, willpower, etc?

      1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
    10. QC‏ @QiaochuYuan Oct 3
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      Replying to @yashkaf

      i'm not sure, but one idea is to look at the strength of the physiological response, e.g. increased heart rate, changes in body temperature, shaking, etc.

      1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
      nick‏ @brownian19 Oct 3
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      Replying to @QiaochuYuan @yashkaf

      seems to me different people could have the same physiological response at various disaster scales. toddler breaks a toy, failed a class, got dumped, lost your job. Their physiology reads the same but the size of emotion they're holding differs vastly.

      8:22 PM - 3 Oct 2019
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      • QC
      1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
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        2. QC‏ @QiaochuYuan Oct 3
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          Replying to @brownian19 @yashkaf

          what do you mean by "size of emotion" here if not the physiological response?

          1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
        3. nick‏ @brownian19 Oct 3
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          Replying to @QiaochuYuan @yashkaf

          ah, I mean the "complexity of the situation" they're holding.

          1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
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