and at the same time I wonder how the "traumas all the way down" narrative (which I do believe to be true in a sense) can also be personally disempowering (for myself, of course).
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Replying to @jondubin @QiaochuYuan
Well, if you reframe it as, the nervous system/body/mind is a natural set of feedback loops meant to regulate for healing and can be dysregulated by certain events (those we would call traumatizing) but that you CAN find regulation again with certain activities
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That for me is VERY empowering, that despite trauma stemming back intergenerationally to the beginning of or before human life, we have evolved to find regulation and metabolize trauma through social activity ... that is really hopeful
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And if depression points me toward this trauma that is stuck in my body, it is doing so so that I can take the steps necessary to resolve that trauma. Again, that feels empowering to me V.S. “you have depression forever and you have to figure out how to live with it”
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Replying to @spacecrone @QiaochuYuan
Totally, strong agree! I'm mostly reflecting on how there's a way that "I can't do X until Y trauma is resolved" pops up a lot in my life.
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[most recently it's been of the flavor: I can't have the connection/intimacy with others that I want until I'm "all fixed", yikes]
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I wasn't ready to do any of the personal development work I've done until I hit rock bottom (messy breakup) in a way that convinced me at the gut level that whatever I was doing wasn't working and something needed to change. And have since met other people with similar stories.
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Replying to @RivalVoices @QiaochuYuan and
there's an awesome account of someone hitting rock bottom, literally lost her ability to orient for a time. then rewriting her value os. It's interlaced with sweet-ass computer science ramblings too.https://status451.com/2018/06/18/tales-from-underwater/amp/ …
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