ongoing "bibliography" thread
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I feel like these dynamics are very much Kegan's stage 3 as I've a subagent wailing "but.. what if I hurt a family member".
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It's a mess! Your insight "other people can't make me do things" is also only a stage in development. There's an important truth to it, *and* it could be used to justify cruelty: "if you were taking responsibility for your feelings, then you wouldn't be upset right now"
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