Celebrities: wow for once ppl won’t recognize us in public with these face masks
Diane Keaton:
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Amanda Brooke Perrin
@brookeperrin
hi I’m amanda. she/her.
Amanda Brooke Perrin’s Tweets
I got a haircut and now I am unstoppable. I am horny as all hell. I have a six pack abs and a good forehead. I drink organic wine downtown near the big tv screens and talk to tourists. I have had sex with THREE associate professors with tenure. Mom? Dad? I have arrived.
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did I ever tell you that I painted my friend’s dog?
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That’s my emotional support ripped up beer bottle label
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Men will literally break into your house with a big red bag and leave gifts under your tree before going to therapy
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maybe we need single men to not be batshit crazy until then stay single ladies 💅🏻
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'We need these ladies to get married' 
— Fox News' Jesse Watters is BIG MAD that single women made waves voting for Democrats during the midterms
— Fox News' Jesse Watters is BIG MAD that single women made waves voting for Democrats during the midterms
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Between Two Ferns Bloopers to brighten your day!
😂😂
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Kids in Christmas movies always make wishes like “I wish my dad would find true love after mommy went to heaven.” Not me. I’d be like “we ride together, we die together, Gregg. No new friends. Also I wish for a pink scooter with tassel handles.”
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celebrated the return of our lord and savior tonight 🙏
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no worries if not !!!!!!!
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sorry this is late bc I accidentally swallowed a bit of nail polish remover - follow me on IG @amandabrookeperrin to see if I live
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Good to see TC Tuggers expanding their business model.
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when I opt for tea instead of coffee
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When you realize the dream job you never knew you always wanted.
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Ummm thanks?
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Dr. Oz My dad’s hairline
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Lost but not forgotten
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I love when Daylight Savings ends. There’s nothing quite like watching a beautiful sunset during my lunch break 🥰
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My handle is @ killthebeast
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follow me on gastonadon is this anything
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IDK how you remain without an opinion on any matter. Keep your heads down and do absolutely nothing, kings 🥰
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Happy Election Day to all of the apolitical people on bumble 💞🥰
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HAPPY FOUR SEASONS TOTAL LANDSCAPING DAY TO ALL WHO OBSERVE
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Every Elon post is like watching Joe Pesci enter the Home Alone house
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It is currently one trillion o clock
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I had a great time, thanks for having me
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beware of dog
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I love when improv shows are like here’s 5 small men that need more potassium and their female friend who studied Shakespeare for 12 years
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*5 seconds after watching this movie*
Siri, how do I buy a donkey
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my mother bathed me until I was 35
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The fun part abt this tweet is that when I inevitably change my name back I will be the little bitch on ppl’s feeds
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I don't wanna make a broad generalization but you have to admit it's at least *interesting* that everyone who likes Elon Musk is the biggest loser you've ever met.
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I’m a little bitch
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A weighted blanket isn’t enough. I need the heidi klum worm suit
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thank you, , for waking me up with a video montage called 'fall' that is just photos of my ex-boyfriend
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If it came out that Elon made his employees play Lose Yourself every time he walked into work I would not be shocked.
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