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Barney Stinson
@brocode
I’m Awesome
Barney Stinson’s Tweets
Forget every other rule I've ever stated because every other rule I've ever stated is old and I have only one rule: New is always better.
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A riddle to start this Easter Sunday. What lightweight outfit pink or white Makes the front of my slacks abnormally tight?
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I am not Canadian. How do I know? Because I am not terrible. bit.ly/rJimQd
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a Bro reserves the right to simply walk away during the first five minutes of a date #lemonlaw
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When I get sad I stop being sad and be awesome instead. true story. http://bit.ly/fWVBI6
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#prestripclubchecklist read in-depth synopsis of movie girlfriend thinks you’re going to see
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#prestripclubchecklist don’t wear jeans
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#prestripclubchecklist turn off heat/AC in apartment, saving both utility costs and the environment
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#prestripclubchecklist pledge to avoid dancers with names like Smokey, Hepatitia, and Thunder
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#prestripclubchecklist plant fake “movie producer” business cards on self where they might “accidentally” fall out in2 cleavage of dancer(s)
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#prestripclubchecklist get drunk
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#prestripclubchecklist Hide ATM and credit cards deep in wallet yet still accessible in case of rare “twins” scenario
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#prestripclubchecklist convert sufficient funds to singles in the local currency
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How a groom sends his Bros out with a bang…bridemaids. Squeezed into ugly identical dresses, bridemaids have one goal…to get out of them.
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check out some of my notes from Robin 101: http://is.gd/418bP
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why girls must wear jeans to a strip club http://is.gd/3NbpO
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Hai-five-ku: one two three four five, raise each one high in the air, smack and release…Bro #broetrycorner
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wingwoman - a female wingman who is also a chick. #broglossary
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rack jack - to steal a wingman’s quarry, often with malicious, premeditated intent. #broglossary
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quid pro bro - returning a favor by doing a solid for a Bro…not that kind of solid. #broglossary
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jump on the grenade - the process in which a Bro “takes one for the team” by talking to a hot chick’s unattractive friend. #broglossary
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dis-broment - removal of “Bro” status. #broglossary
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bro-worker - a Bro at the workplace. #broglossary
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browling - more than one Bro bowling. #broglossary
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bro train - a convoy of Bros on the move, usually to a party. #broglossary
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brotorcycle - one of those motorcycles with the sidecar thing. #broglossary
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brotection – when a Bro supplies another Bro with birth control. #broglossary
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broshambo – two dudes playing rock, paper, scissors. #broglossary
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bro-proofing – outfitting a space for Bros. #broglossary
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broner used in a sentence. “Ricky popped a broner when his friend rented out the local laser tag arena for his birthday.”
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broner – excitement over hanging out with Bros. #broglossary
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brone – an act of selflessness bestowed upon or by a Bro. #broglossary
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bronacular – the language of Bros. #broglossary
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broliferation – too much use of the word “Bro.” #broglossary
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brojo – a Bro’s mojo. #broglossary
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broicide – (1) to kill a Bro. (2) to rack jack a Bro. #broglossary
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broflation–(1) sudden increase in female expectations abt how dudes shld act (2) sudden increase in dudes at an event or venue #broglossary
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brofession – a Bro job. #broglossary
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brode of silence – playing dumb or mute when a chick asks about another Bro’s history or whereabouts. #broglossary
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