Instant Pot! It's a pressure cooker, and like all pressure cookers sometimes they explode. It's a thing! It happens! I'm not getting one.
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Heights. Let's face it: the higher you get the further and harder you fall. I'm not going past the second step on a ladder. Yes, taking the elevated train is very difficult for me! Did you know that CTA trains have fallen off tracks before? THEY HAVE.
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Dropping keys/other objects in the narrow gap between elevator and floor, or between train and platform. One aspect of a job I had in college was to call the elevator techs to get keys and stuff that had fallen between that gap! It happened a few times a month! IT HAPPENS.
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Raw eggs CAN KILL YOU. Salmonella! I went a LONG time refusing to eat raw cookie dough, brownie batter, etc. Anything with raw egg in it. Quite frankly going on a mood stabilizer helped this quite a bit.
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Tripping, falling on my left wrist, and breaking it. This is very specific and kind of a recurring fear I have. It just womps me out of nowhere. It's very specific! I'm right handed! Why aren't I more worried about breaking my RIGHT wrist? WHO KNOWS.
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Falling in general. I'm far less mobile than I used to be and there's this recurring fear that once I go down I won't be able to get back up. Have I mentioned that I have a vertigo disorder? Sometimes I fall down! So far I've gotten back up every time I've fallen. So far.
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Vomit. I can talk about vomit or hear someone else talk about vomit, discuss it, but hearing vomit sounds or seeing someone puke or almost puke? Even on tv? NOPE. It's actually more than that. Someone leans forward on public transit? I panic a little. I also always know
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where trash cans are in case -I- need to puke! This is frankly exhausting and I hate it.
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CARS. I'm mostly ok IN cars but when I'm walking, especially near corners, cars zipping by can make me panic. I've had some VERY scary experiences with cars and my therapist thinks I have PTSD related to cars/car crashes and uh... PTSD is a "real" mental illness so I feel...
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kind of weird thinking of myself with it, like I'm somehow faking it. "But Brigid isn't BiPolar also "real" mental illness? And Anxiety Disorders? And..." shut up, I'm irrational, I know that.
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My Kid. My kid is amazing and I love them so much and I'm terrified about something bad happening to them. Sometimes I dream that they've died and I wake up and have to fight off crying for a day or two because the thought is so distressing. They walk to school alone. It's hard.
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Experiencing psychosis and hurting people I love. There's a very legitimate reason I fear this that I don't want to go into, but I've never shown signs of this so I don't know that I really HAVE to fear it. Is it likely? Probably not! Is it possible? Yes, and I've made Plans.
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BTW: Thanks to cognitive behavioral therapy and a lot of exposure I'm no longer terrified of the dentist. I know it's possible to get over this shit and I'm actively working on doing so!
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Oh, and I also refuse to eat fruit enrobed in chocolate because there's no way of knowing if the fruit is rotten or not under there. I have issues with food safety/freshness as well.
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Back to irrational but maybe not irrational fears: I am actively working on my fear of falling through grates in sidewalks and manhole covers. Although I realized the other day that I'm fatter than most manhole covers so I can't actually fall all the way in.
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