[END OF DECADE THREAD]
10 years ago I was still in the midst of severe mental health troubles that led me to dropping out of a graphic design degree that I'd started straight out of high school.
1/25
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Thanks to the help of many people (most importantly my parents), and social support from the government, I had the opportunity to take a step back and figure out where I wanted to go with life.
2/25
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For all my parents knew, I might have never been able to work again, but they stuck by me. In this time I explored art, illustration, world building, procedural generation, and programming - see: flickr.com/photos/bjzaba/ and voyager3.tumblr.com.
3/25
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I found that was amazing for this - it helped me ease into programming, giving me tangible results fast, while allowing me to upskill on boring configuration stuff and IDEs as I needed it, rather than forcing this onto me upfront.
4/25
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I also discovered that the were programming languages other than Java. I played around with Scala (rather confusing for me at the time), (super cool language with amazing metaprogramming, check it out) and this other weird language, .
5/25
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Here I think my design background helped. I was less likely to accept the status quo, and more willing to ask 'is there a better way?' and also to look at how certain design decisions were made, by looking back into the history of PLs, and other roads less traveled.
6/25
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My fellow programming friends were pretty skeptical though. Always saying 'nobody uses that', and 'you won't get a job in that' or 'always bet on javascript', etc. Thankfully I was pretty headstrong and didn't listen! The Rust community was really supportive too! ♥️
7/25
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The "Programming Languages" course on Coursera by Dan Grossman really impacted the way I critically analysed & learned new PLs, and (later) made it easier to learn frameworks like Rails, Ember, React - I highly recommend it! coursera.org/learn/programm
8/25
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After that I eventually I enrolled in a CS course and moved interstate in my thirst to lean more about programming languages. I didn't just want to use them, I wanted to help design them, and use them as part of my art!
9/25
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I desperately wanted to learn more about how to learn more about programming languages! My first subjects in my design degree had changed me greatly, giving me the historical context and permission to appropriate and explore old ideas in new ways, so I had high hopes.
10/25
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In contrast, the computer science course was disappointing. It was only later that I learned that my course was mainly focused on outdated software engineering, rather than the computer science I craved. I take some of the blame - I hadn't research the uni well enough.
11/25
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They had focused so much on trying to do things that was 'practical' that their course work could not keep up to date with current industry trends, and was incredibly dated. Meanwhile they core historical and theoretical stuff that changed much more slowly was neglected.
12/25
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I was pretty unfocused as a student - more interested in exploring my own ideas and CS interests than actually working on my assignments and course work. Thankfully due to my student-status and OSS work on the side I had the privilege to work at some prominent internships.
13/25
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Unsurprisingly the university was disappointed with my progress and my mental health was suffering, so at the end of my last internship I decided to drop out, again. No job offers from my host companies though (my mental health was partly to blame).
14/25
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Thankfully I managed to find a job working at a startup for a bit over two years. I learned a bunch of stuff over that time, but trying to satisfy both my career and my side interests took a toll, as did trying to mitigate the 'move fast and break things' approach at work.
15/25
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The startup grew, and I got to see it in many different stages, seeing the associated pains, and also the troubling effects of investment funding, and a troubling disdain from leadership for anything that 'seemed too academic'.
16/25
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After a long break in Europe I decided to look for another job. Thankfully, my connections led me to quickly finding a new job, in Rust! They were incredibly supportive of trying to apply academic research to the real world!
17/25
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So now I find myself getting paid to learn exactly the stuff I wanted to learn in university - alas without much support from experts. I do my best though. It's tough, challenging, but deeply satisfying and fulfilling. I'm very thankful to be in this fortunate position.
18/25
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I'm now finally starting to get a handle on my mental health, but it's a work in progress. It seems most of my problems stem being distractable and insatiably curious about everything (probably ADHD), which leads me to avoid important things, leading to anxiety and stress.
19/25
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I don't know what this decade will hold. More and more climate change is on my mind, and it seems like the window to explore some of the fascinating things I'm interested in is closing. It's terrifying, but I know I can't let it overwhelm me.
20/25
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My professional goals this decade are to take what I've learned in applied programming languages and combine it with my artistic and world building interests. So more voyager3.tumblr.com! But who knows, I might get distracted by something else… we'll see! 😅
21/25
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I also want to try to leverage some of the things I've learn from design, industry, and the theory, and see what's possible when these things are combined in interesting ways. For more on this check out: gist.github.com/brendanzab/eba
22/25
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I'm incredibly thankful for all those who supported me along the way. I often get lost in my own world and forget to do show my appreciation and give back, but I'm going to try my best to do a better job of this, and to be a better friend.
23/25
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I'm also thankful to the Australian government. Sadly I think the support that I received at the time would not be available to people these days. It was vital for helping me turn into the constructive citizen that I am today. We desperately need universal basic income.
24/25
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Wrapping up, last decade was a huge journey for me. I feel incredibly fortunate to be here, and be able to do the things I do. I'll try my best to be aware of the privilege I have, and give back to those with less of it. Here's to the 2020s. I hope we can make it count. 🤞
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