Dear diary: today was a hot mess. It's hard to remember that *most* days for me used to feature overwhelming anxiety.
Between the zoloft and a rotating cast of mental health practices it's now a rarity, thank god. But..
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Yow, it always shocks me how completely a mood disorder can change your thinking. Instant impostor. Crippling self-doubt.
These days I manage to remind myself it's just a weird chemical glitch; things will be better soon. But the fog of panic and dread persists.
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It wasn't *all* bad. We're now on year 2 of having all the neighbor kids over to celebrate the seasons changing. Pumpkin bread, pumpkin beer, 80s music, a bunch of families sitting in our front yard, a half dozen kids riding bikes and trikes and scooters. ❤️
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But still, anxiety sucks. I hate feeling like my nerves are on fire. And while I'm so grateful for the help and tools I've received, I wish it would go away for good.
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Can relate to these feels. After all the effort in figuring through healthier coping strategies the anxiety still manages to break through. Hard to be compassionate with myself when it happens, but I'm trying!