Toe Drags & Tech

@brandnamehero

Avid and/or addicted hockeyist. Center/3rd D. i/d/k

Vrijeme pridruživanja: rujan 2012.

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  1. Prikvačeni tweet
    27. pro 2018.

    [Museum curator agreeing to buy some of Jackson Pollock's works] "Weird flecks but ok."

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    if you show the peanut brand mascot to me I will find a way to make your life worse. your regret will be so great it will be how you mark time. "that was a year or so before my Great Mistake," you will say. or "that was two years after I was Punished"

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    People complaining that J-Lo and Shakira’s “racy” halftime show was a slap in the face to women’s empowerment when women’s empowerment literally means women are free to be 100% unapologetically who tf they are and if you don’t like it you’re free go completely fuck yourself.

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  5. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    But paper alone won't be enough to protect our election integrity. I'm a cybersecurity expert running for Congress. If you agree we need more people with my background, I would love to have your support:

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    Tuukka Rask, seeing a larger-than-usual media group in the room: “Football season must be over!”

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    Things that offend me: •Racism •Homophobia •Misogyny •When I go to someone's apartment and it's really clean and nice and they're like "omg sorry our place is a such a mess"

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  8. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    prije 3 sata

    Spaced out for a minute and came up with a futuristic street drug called “French Dust”

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  9. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    prije 6 sati

    wholesome Godzilla : ) comic by

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  10. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    This has blown up &c &c. Screw soundcloud. Buy tickets for my charity comedy night!

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  11. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    21. stu 2017.

    [being fired for watching “how dildos are made” on youtube] MY BOSS AT THE DILDO FACTORY: you should have known all of this already

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  12. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    prije 7 sati

    Trailblazer Discovers New Depths Of Bootlicking, Groveling. This Shouldn't Be Possible, Say Stunned Scientists

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    Rule 8.1 of the NHL rulebook: "Fuck them kids"

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  14. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    prije 23 sata

    this woman in starbucks was fighting with someone over the phone and she just put them on speaker so that we could all hear "how dumb you sound"

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    2. velj

    my job telling me to do self-care.

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  16. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    prije 24 sata

    The stomach is a muscle like any other. If you feed it toxic trash in steadily increasing doses it becomes stronger, thereby enabling you to eat whatever you want with no negative consequences

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  17. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    I’m not allowed to say who it was because it makes me “look bad” even though they literally stole like over a thousand dollars from me

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  19. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    31. sij

    Muppets riding bikes

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  20. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    12. ožu 2019.

    Me sowing: Haha fuck yeah!!! Yes!! Me reaping: Well this fucking sucks. What the fuck.

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  21. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    2. velj

    54 years ago today, mild-mannered jim bowl was bitten by a radioactive spider

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