Hannah Boone

@boonecomedy

Hell’s Angel, Virgin. If you want me to write something for you go to and email me, if you want a Crunchwrap supreme go to Taco Bell

Brooklyn, NY
Joined November 2013
161 Photos and videos Photos and videos

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  1. 14 hours ago

    I’m not good in bed but I am a *firecracker* in the stomach medicine aisle of cvs

    7 likes
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  2. 15 hours ago

    *I burst into to the room like the kool aid man, I am covered in sweat and blood* Everyone: oh my god what’s happening what is it?? Me: (so much gasping, tears in my eyes)Dessert...is...stressed...spelled...backwards Everyone vaporizes for we have seen too much

    1 reply 9 likes
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  3. 15 hours ago

    Just naired my mustache. Dare me to drive?

    1 retweet 9 likes
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  4. Jul 16

    A common misconception is that improv is a performance

    6 likes
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  5. Jul 14

    What’s weird is that I’m hotter than everyone else on Instagram

    2 replies 14 likes
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  6. Jul 14

    Email is the medium in which I really shine

    9 likes
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  7. Jul 14

    What I learned from taking yoga classes is that hozier does Beyoncé covers

    3 retweets 45 likes
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  8. Jul 13

    Yeah he’s successful, hot, and respectful but can he kick his underwear in the air and catch it when he’s getting undressed, the thing all women love and care about ?

    1 reply 3 retweets 23 likes
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  9. Jul 13

    Thinking about cheating on my boyfriend and calling it art

    3 replies 2 retweets 42 likes
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  10. Jul 12

    Maybe more than 9 people wanna like it

    10 likes
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  11. Jul 12

    I interrupted my boyfriend mid sentence to write this and we fought about it later

    1 reply 2 retweets 19 likes
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  12. Retweeted
    Jul 12

    House of Bricks comedy show hosted by Hannah Boone, Brandon Ream and Gideon Hambright. Tonight featuring: & (plus free beer for first 25 guests) 8:30pm at

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    6 retweets 9 likes
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  13. Jul 10

    If I was a pro poker player my poker face would be sobbing the whole time

    1 reply 4 retweets 35 likes
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  14. Retweeted
    Jul 10

    ME, PRO-LIFE, SPRINTING TO THE NEAREST SPERM BANK HOLDING A USED CONDOM I FOUND ON THE STREET: hang in there lil buddy

    50 replies 3,133 retweets 26,227 likes
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  15. Jul 9

    I’m at an open mic cause why be happy when you don’t have to be

    1 reply 3 retweets 34 likes
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  16. Jul 9

    *Eulogizing at my mother’s funeral* Me: As I look around today, it is clear she was loved. Not only by us here in New York, but by her friends who came here all the way from Florida to- omg his name’s Flo Rida cause like Florida My brother: ooooooh oh my god

    1 reply 2 retweets 35 likes
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  17. Jul 9

    Looking forward to my divorce for the maxi dresses alone

    11 likes
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  18. Jul 8

    It’s hard to talk about being a sober alcoholic when no one can decide on the past tense of “drink”

    16 likes
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  19. Retweeted
    Jul 7

    Far-right extremism is spreading globally as fans do the wave here in USA.

    5 replies 9 retweets 79 likes
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  20. Jul 7

    *At first therapy session* Therapist: So what brings you in today? Me: I got a text from the guy I like Therapist: Yes? Me: When I opened it, it was just the exclamation mark reaction to when I said let’s hang out soon Therapist: omg are you shitting me *together we weep*

    3 retweets 26 likes
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