me in two weeks right before I send this exact text to my gf who isnt my gf but maybe thinks she’s my gfpic.twitter.com/uctk8bE5hF
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me in two weeks right before I send this exact text to my gf who isnt my gf but maybe thinks she’s my gfpic.twitter.com/uctk8bE5hF
if ur single this v day you might as well follow these funny people for a laugh while you contemplate being alone forever
@chunkyfila
@ReagansTweets
@abbygov
@avantnard
@Soeljchillinger
@uhhhhmad
@DrakeGatsby
@savisawhore
@DakDeMarco
@AlmondTiddies
Narrator: he hadn't actually changed his sheets.
plot twist: his mom changed it for him
If you simply don’t date guys named Brayden or Tanner who break tables for fun this won’t happen to you
Bold of you to assume that anybody wants to get takeout and have sex with me.
I thought takeout & sex was a committed relationship?
What if you’re in a sort-of relationship, but it has no long-term potential so when you’re apart, you send impersonal texts, but when you’re together it’s 
and romantic as shit, but you still list your status as single on FB.
...asking for a friend.
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