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Prikvačeni tweet
bro we only live once ok just message her, carpe dm
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first-mate prance proslijedio/la je Tweet
reporting live from our precinct: it’s packed for Bernie here!! we’re already the biggest crowd & supporters are filling rows of the overflow balcony in this auditorium
#IowaCaucuspic.twitter.com/0q4RyDlgNz
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first-mate prance proslijedio/la je Tweet
Bernie vs Biden corners at the Zem Zem Islamic Center in Des Moines. Lots of white bros as you can see.pic.twitter.com/38qUZ40LKv
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first-mate prance proslijedio/la je Tweet
sorry babe, the crippling physical insecurity stays ON during sex...please turn the lights off :(
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first-mate prance proslijedio/la je Tweet
Girl’s ig story: Happy me: oh fuck what’s coming next Girls ig story: Birthday me: Holy shit lmao girls ig story: To me: to who to who c’mon tell me girls ig story: My me: I’m dying here! spill it alrea
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first-mate prance proslijedio/la je Tweet
POV: You’re the rat in my $4700 New York apartment watching me post- mental breakdownpic.twitter.com/jmtgrZNtWG
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first-mate prance proslijedio/la je Tweet
since it is the holidays I wanted to remind everyone that my uncle is the funniest man on Facebookpic.twitter.com/nPzOPkOAlV
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Gonna catch some heat for this one...I apologize for nothing
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lot of guys saying they'd wish for world peace or the cure to cancer but my wish is to bury my face in your breasts. To kiss them gently b4 working my way to the rest of your body. We’d then begin making love, slowly increasing in passion. Our bodies wou- mom get out of my roomhttps://twitter.com/karismaboo_/status/1223323524951166976 …
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first-mate prance proslijedio/la je Tweet
Jesus - under 6 feet tall - nailed to a cross - didn’t have gucci flip flops - died a virgin My mom’s yoga instructor Jesús - 6’2 - nailed my aunt - 2 pairs of gucci flip flops - still alive, definitely fucks (see aunt)
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first-mate prance proslijedio/la je Tweet
I was so lonely I texted the girl who robbed me last year...pic.twitter.com/3ipbqmOrRu
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This is blowing up...any Iowans who see this: VOTE for Bernie Sanders tn
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first-mate prance proslijedio/la je Tweet
“I have a lot of twitter followers” - obnoxious - who cares - everyone knows you’re unemployed “I command a small army of depressed bisexuals” - intriguing - you could stage a military coup - people who won’t ask if you have a job
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first-mate prance proslijedio/la je Tweet
“You can either live on your knees or die on your feet” I whisper to myself as I get up from the toilet after throwing up during the party before walking back into the kitchen like nothing happened and yelling “ALRIGHT WHO WANTS SHOTTTSSSSS”
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first-mate prance proslijedio/la je Tweet
I see my mom scribbling something on her car with sharpie so I go outside and find thispic.twitter.com/GA6SWOEu68
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first-mate prance proslijedio/la je Tweet
me eating at 5 star restaurant: mm this is pretty good me eating at chick-fil-a: ahh the delicacy of lightly dredged chicken pairs perfectly with the cooked white potatoes, dusted with sea salt, and a crisp bottle of flavor optimized carbonated beverage. the pleasure is all mine
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Congrats to all of my followers, WE ARE the depressed bisexuals let’s go rumble
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“I have a lot of twitter followers” - obnoxious - who cares - everyone knows you’re unemployed “I command a small army of depressed bisexuals” - intriguing - you could stage a military coup - people who won’t ask if you have a job
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“I’m really only watching it for the commercials” - the most powerful gay in your friend group
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girls black out and post 18 ig stories then wake up the next morning at like 5am and delete all of them then put up a screenshot of a Billie Eilish song...nah Kayleeigh we all saw that shit
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Just threw up in the middle of my morning run, I contain multitudes

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