bobby fingerVerified account

Should I have tweeted about The Money Pit at 10:00PM on July 4? Should Shelley and Tom have bought that house? That A to both Qs is YES!

Just watched The Money Pit for the first time in years and years. It was...better as a memory, but like 3 scenes are almost jarringly good.

Growing up, my dogs went nuts during fireworks. They howled. They ran. But my cat? He's sitting and watching them. Considering their power.

Meanwhile I love Chip and Joanna Gaines.......so much.

The exact same motivations. The exact same fears. Only 3,000,000x more embarrassing.

Tom wearing an "I Taylor Swift" shirt is precisely the same thing as when I hung up a photo of Teri Hatcher in my room in 8th grade.

"They're telling us so much," Bobby whispers to his phone. "Do they even know?"

┈┈┈┈┈┈♡┈┈┈┈ ┈┈┈┈┈╭╯♡┈┈┈ ┈┈╱▔╭╯▔╲┈┈┈ ┈▕╲▂▂▂▂╱▏┈┈ ┈┈▏┊┊┊┊▕━╮┈ ┈┈▏┊┊┊┊▕┈┃┈ ┈┈▏┊┊┊┊▕━╯┈ ┈┈╲▂▂▂▂╱┈┈┈ Retweet if you need coffee

"And how do you feel about that decision?" "Oh, I feel great."

"Hi Bobby what did you do this morning?" "Well I woke up early and pieced together life narratives of strangers based on their photos."

I have spent the last half hour falling down an Instagram hole. Currently hovering somewhere around "gay Soulcycle instructor."

Just met someone named Miranda, and I think...she *is*...a Miranda.

I've only recently started watching these tiny house shows, but has a *happy* couple ever bought one?

You don't ruin the life of a wealthy, well-connected Sigourney Weaver type without paying for it.

I love Working Girl as much as the next guy, but Katharine Parker definitely had Tess McGill killed a few months after it faded to black.