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If shitting your pants was a crime, I'd be on death row. RT it you have a pantload today!
In the past the only ones who have threatened us are confirmed pants shitters and quackers,
A full load in your diaper is the new black.
My pool is not a toilet. Not anymore.
Big poopin
Ban on farting at the dinner table ruled unklumpstitutional.
11 retweets 67 favoritesSometimes I just let my underwear wipe my ass for me..
2 retweets 18 favoritesHands up if you're pooping right now.
Today is the day! The mother-in-law moves out! We've been so busy. All her garbage bags? Curbside!
1 retweetI pooped.
If there isn't shit spackled underneath your toilet seat, you're doing it wrong.
2 retweets 7 favoritesCould use some titty today.
With the hoes I got the worst rep
Open your butthole to the possibilities!
25 retweets 83 favoritesI just shit my pants at Whole Foods and now everyone wants to eat my organic shit pancake.
5 retweets 12 favoritespoop
I just laid a cable that Nik Wallenda could walk across.
Holding in my poop because I have separation anxiety.
6 retweets 6 favoritesTwitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup.
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