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Fellow All-Powerful Bicycle Lobbyists, after nearly 10 years of forcing our agenda upon cities and helpless drivers it is time to move on. As of today, this account is retired. (Not "re-tired" as in putting new tires on a bike, but "retired" as in "retired.")

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Bike lanes? Where we're going we don't need bike lanes. Signing off, The All-Powerful Bicycle Lobby

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The All-Powerful Bicycle Lobby

Official All-Powerful Bicycle Lobby t-shirts will still be available via

@cottonbureau

as long as there is interest. Is there still interest? We may be all-powerful, but we don't know. Get one while you can.

cottonbureau.com

Did you know there's an All-Powerful Bicycle Lobby? This shadowy organization is coming to your city to influence politicians, change streets and ban cars.

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We appreciate everyone who has interacted with us, called us out when our jokes fell flat or offended, and who keeps fighting to make their towns and cities safe for cycling, whether for fun or for transportation or some combination of both.

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This was one of our first tweets and -- to be honest -- one of our best. It was all downhill from there. (Which every cyclist knows is a great way to build up speed while expending minimal energy.)

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Jun 4, 2013

In totalitarian New York, bikes share you.

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Wall Street Journal: Death by Bicycle

This account began in June 2013 in response to parody newspapers like the Wall Street Journal and comedians like Dorothy Rabinowitz who freaked out about bike share, bike lanes and other efforts to stop people from depending on and being killed by cars.

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Dorothy Rabinowitz of the Wall Street Journal editorial board was interviewed on May 31st, 2013, about New York City's new CitiBike bike sharing program.

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We've had a lot of fun running this account. We hope that we have made people laugh, made people think and -- most importantly -- made people confused. (For that third group, yes, there really is an All-Powerful Bicycle Lobby. We're coming for your parking spaces. All of them.)

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Oct 23, 2022

You know a city has decent urbanism when, in response to its team going to the World Series, officials have to grease traffic and light poles to stop people from climbing them in celebration.

Oct 22, 2022

Sure, but what does Jorts The Cat think about bike lanes?

"...and that is why I, as President of the United States, am using my executive powers to issue every American $1,500 toward the purchase of a bicycle, electric or otherwise. This is not a complicated tax credit, but a full rebate. It's one step toward true energy security."

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President Biden

@POTUS

United States government official

After seeing gas prices rise over the past few weeks, they're falling again. That’s progress. But they’re not falling fast enough and families are hurting. I'm directing my Administration to take more action to lower costs, strengthen energy security, and address supply issues.

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E-bikes, right? The electric vehicles he's talking about are e-bikes?

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President Biden

@POTUS

United States government official

We're building a strong supply chain for electric vehicles and battery supplies right here in America.

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Oct 18, 2022

We've been trying to warn you about James Corden for a long time.

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Jun 25, 2018

James Corden’s “Car Karaoke” seems like a distracted driving tragedy waiting to happen.

Oct 16, 2022

Are you riding a bicycle today? Any type and for any reason? Then you are doing it right.

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Oct 16, 2022

Finally! A baseball game that lasts as long as a community meeting about bike lanes.

Oct 14, 2022

Look at this guy. He is OBSESSED with bike lanes.

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Mark Sutcliffe

@_MarkSutcliffe

Oct 14, 2022

"Sutcliffe branded McKenney a “hard-left” activist while presenting himself as a fiscally-prudent centrist focused on the economy. Specifically, he criticized McKenney’s plans to invest $250 million in bike lanes." ottawacitizen.com/news/local-new

Oct 14, 2022

🚨 🚨🚨 Okay, you know what to do. It is your moral duty to flood this guy's mentions with photos of yourself using a bicycle to get groceries, take your kids to school, or get to a community centre for any kind of sports practice.

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Mark Sutcliffe

@_MarkSutcliffe

Add to that a quarter of a billion dollars on bike lanes. Ottawa needs transportation priorities that work for them. Whether your getting groceries, taking your kids to school, getting to the community centre for hockey practice. Bike lanes aren't going to help you with that.

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you could also cut pollution by getting 1 million cars off the road

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Justin Trudeau

@JustinTrudeau

Officiel du gouvernement - Canada

Almost 1 million cars off the road. That’s how much pollution @ArcelorMittal_D is cutting by moving to electric furnaces, with support from our government. Today, we broke ground on this project – and spoke about how it’ll create jobs and economic growth, and keep our air clean.

Prime Minister Justin Trudeau is standing outdoors and shaking hands with a worker. Other people are standing behind them.

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Prime Minister Justin Trudeau, Minister Francois-Philippe Champagne, and workers are standing inside an industrial facility. They are talking and smiling.

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Prime Minister Justin Trudeau, Minister Francois-Philippe Champagne, Lakshmi Mittal, and Ron Bedard are standing inside an industrial facility. Minister Champagne is pointing into the distance.

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you could also cut pollution by getting 1 million cars off the road

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Justin Trudeau

@JustinTrudeau

Officiel du gouvernement - Canada

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Baselines shift faster than I thought

Replying to

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This is one of my favorite t-shirts!

cottonbureau.com/p/8BER2F/shirt

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Replying to

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Rep'ing in the office for

@Bob_Gunderson

- one of the best anti-car advocates on social media. We should organise global critical mass rides to honour him. 🚲😀👍

Anglela Lansbury, wearing a purple sweater rides a bike with a basket past yellow flowers and a white fence in a shot from the TV show "Murder She Wrote."

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Instead of a gold watch, we're getting

@Bob_Gunderson

one of these.

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Joe Cutrufo

@JoeCutrufo

Replying to @Bob_Gunderson

Celebrating Bob's retirement by wearing my @BicycleLobby shirt.

RIP, Bob. And by that we mean “Retire In (a) Parking (lot).

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Bob Gunderson (Retired)

@Bob_Gunderson

After 10+ years of sparring with the radical all-powerful bike lobby, I'm ready to retire. I hope this twitter account made your streets a little wider, your parking plentiful, and maybe made you smile here and there. I know I did, just once.

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Oct 8, 2022

Cyclists every time a city planner unveils a new bicycling safety and infrastructure plan that's just sharrows.

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Joe Biden, legalize the Idaho Stop next.

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Joe Biden, legalize the Idaho Stop next.

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One can succinctly describe the experience of cycling on a street that only has sharrows on it as "sharrowing."

We have it on good authority that "sharrows" is actually a portmanteau of "shitty" and "arrows." twitter.com/charlesrandall

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Oct 4, 2022

When your city says it's going to announce a major pedestrian and cycling action plan and then reveals that it plans to install sharrows and signs by the year 2050. twitter.com/xavierofficial

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Oct 2, 2022

Still too cheap.

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ABC7 News

@abc7newsbayarea

Oct 2, 2022

HIGH GAS PRICES

: "It's nuts! You can't comprehend this." This past Monday, gas prices in the Bay Area were over $6 a gallon. By Friday night, some prices shot up to almost $7 a gallon. abc7ne.ws/3fCtBjH

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Sep 29, 2022

Hurricanes should be named after SUV models.

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Sep 28, 2022

Hot take

Our controversial take is that everyone should wear what they want when cycling and stop caring so much about other people’s choices.

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Sep 26, 2022

Description: A room full of safe streets advocates in the rare case when a transportation department proposes banning cars to prioritize cyclists and pedestrians.

Screenshot of NASA APL engineers reacting to mission to crash a small spacecraft into an asteroid. Engineers are wearing blue polo shirts and applauding.

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Sep 26, 2022

Us on a Zoom call when planners from a city transportation department presents what they say is a new street redesign that will improve safety for cyclists and pedestrians but then reveals that it's only sharrows and signs.

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Field Yates

@FieldYates

Sep 25, 2022

Bills OC Ken Dorsey was not happy at the end of the game.

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10M views

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Sep 24, 2014

And to our Jewish friends...

Sep 24, 2022

The good news is that nothing bad has ever happened to anyone while driving a car.

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You can't spell "care free" without "car free." #CarFreeDay2022

Reminder: "sharrow" is a portmanteau of "shitty arrow."

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Hannah Pechan

@hannah_pechan

After seeing it mentioned lots, I finally googled “sharrows”. I’m surprised there’s a term for spray painted symbols on the street. I’d never learned this term as a driver or that this symbol meant anything. Did other folks know this term pre-biking?

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Live every day like it's World Car-Free Day. #WorldCarFreeDay