Brian HeaterVerified account

@bheater

I eat hot emcees like cold salads.

Aysteria, NY
riylcast.tumblr.com
Joined August 2008
Born on May 11
3,178 Photos and videos Photos and videos

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  1. 3 hours ago

    Twitter's In Case You Missed it feature is making me long for a time when we didn't know that covefefe is actually the nuclear code.

    3 likes
  2. 6 hours ago

    Donald J Trump will make sure every polar bear is dead by the end of his term, even if it means strangling each one with his own hands.

    1 reply 1 retweet 1 like
  3. 7 hours ago

    Anyone who writes an all-emoji review of the Emoji Movie should be fired into the ☀️ on a 🚀.

    2 likes
  4. 12 hours ago

    Having a stroke mid-tweet is the most unifying thing this president has done since assuming office.

    3 likes
  5. 14 hours ago

    Covfefe: noun - something intended to divert attention from the real problem or matter at hand; a misleading clue.

    BREAKING: White House official says Trump expected to withdraw US from Paris climate accord.
    7 retweets 7 likes
  6. 14 hours ago

    I don't want to live in a world where Barron Trump isn't able to enjoy the lighthearted comedic stylings of Kathy Griffin.

    2 retweets 4 likes
  7. May 30

    When did the world become such a Fyre Fest?

    4 likes
  8. May 30

    The W train is a state of the art fart trapping device.

  9. May 30

    What if "We Didn't Start The Fire" was just Billy Joel hiding his tracks as a serial arsonist in his off hours?

  10. Retweeted
    May 30

    Awesome interview.

    "We’re not theory people. We play what we feel." - on RiYL.
    1 retweet 2 likes
  11. May 30

    "We’re not theory people. We play what we feel." - on RiYL.

    5 retweets 14 likes
  12. May 30

    On the one hand, this is stupid. On the other, it's been a while since we had a good, old fashioned statue fight.

    5 replies 1 retweet 8 likes
  13. May 30

    Lil Yachty is the soundtrack to me aging into irrelevance.

  14. May 30

    A gold-plated fidget spinner might be the only thing standing between us and nuclear war.

    1 like
  15. May 29

    A podcast where I recap the week's best TV recaps.

    1 reply 1 retweet 2 likes
  16. May 28

    You ever think you might just be cranky and dehydrated from all of those liberal tears you've been drinking?

    3 retweets 8 likes
  17. May 28

    Why not listen to a brand new interview with on this long holiday weekend?

    2 likes
  18. May 28

    I was pretty sure Trump was going to pull a Roman Polanski and just hang out in Europe for the next couple of decades.

    1 reply 4 likes
  19. May 28

    I suspect the DC film universe isn't the first time a man consistently lowered the bar and a woman just walked right over.

  20. May 27

    Do you ever reflect on how crazy close we came to having a president who used a private e-mail server once?

    11 retweets 36 likes

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