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"Alexaaaaa play ignition by nelly or something!"
#whosaidit?Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo -
Bees are the original suicide bombers
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When tower defense games run out of ideas so they turn the warriors into cartels battling for cocaine empires
https://twitter.com/playnarcos/status/866995189050613761 … -
There's nothing innovative about taking away convenience
@Apple#bringbacktheheadphonejack#bringbackusbportsThanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo -
I've always loved
@Apple, but the need for adapters for all your devices on their new products is really starting to make me hate themThanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo -
Almost got kicked out of a bar for saying the word "walkway"
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Good day for the bay
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"Those kids look so cute on their leases"
#shitAliKsaysThanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo -
Everything sounds better in reverse
#ProducerLifeThanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo -
PEPSI: we made the biggest PR mistake of any major company this year. UNITED: hold my beer
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"Quick... unplug the lamp, I need to sample it" @bobgnarlybeats
@JFHenny#producerproblemsThanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo -
Just found a bunch of old pics and videos of college on my laptop. There's so much gold on here I could open a goldmine
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HakeItLikaSaltShaker Retweeted
FOX News’ Negative “Spring Break Exposed” Report Makes Spring Break Look Fun As Shit: http://totalfratmove.com/fox-news-negative-spring-break-exposed-report-makes-spring-break-look-fun/?utm_medium=short&utm_source=Twitter …pic.twitter.com/gVfeRerRzc
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Everytime I see
@JerrySpringer on TV I wonder... Are there really this many ugly actors or does America really have this much white trash?Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo -
Anyone have any recommendations for Netflix shows to binge watch? I'm gonna be a piece of shit today
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I feel dead AF
#Ultra2017Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo -
I wanna travel somewhere spontaneous rn. Where should I go and who wants to come with?
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HakeItLikaSaltShaker Retweeted
Why does this baby look more like Ed Sheeran than Ed Sheeran does?pic.twitter.com/BbUqzeY4e5
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Just realized 95% of Trump's tweets include the words "failing" or "big". Great use of vocab Mr. President.
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There is no day worse than a Wednesday for your birthday
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