Jessica Bender

@benderingunit

living that Vampira lifestyle.

Joined October 2010
34 Photos and videos Photos and videos

Tweets

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  1. Retweeted
    16 hours ago

    Taylor Swift is the Donald Trump of pop music

    24 replies 212 retweets 560 likes
  2. Retweeted
    Jun 1

    PLANET EARTH: Car keys Ivanka! Now! IVANKA: I'm looking! PLANET EARTH: Where are the keys. Ivanka... IVANKA: (dangling keys) Sorry babe.

    605 replies 39,584 retweets 104,498 likes
  3. Retweeted
    May 31

    NEW POLL: 70% of Californians support favor establishing a public, Medicare for all type system like

    4 replies 180 retweets 315 likes
  4. Retweeted
    May 29

    Don't tell me you love me, tell me you paid my rent.

    2 replies 566 retweets 807 likes
  5. May 29

    This train legit smells like beef jerky ?

    1 reply 2 likes
  6. Retweeted
    May 25

    Beautiful day? For you maybe; I'm goth.

    39 replies 1,044 retweets 3,599 likes
  7. Retweeted
    May 10

    those warcrimes you like are going to come back in style

    70 replies 2,325 retweets 6,878 likes
  8. Retweeted
    May 5

    Do the people on HGTV know you can look at more than three houses?

    40 replies 575 retweets 3,016 likes
  9. May 7

    THANK YOU FRANCE 🇫🇷❤️🥐🍷👨🏼‍🎨🚬🍾🥖🇫🇷❤️

  10. May 4

    Overheard between my straight male coworkers "You ready to get worked?" "I can take you real quick." Subject? "Ping pong" 🤔 convinced

    1 like
  11. Retweeted
    May 4
    Replying to

    Our most vulnerable communities need their services increased and better funded, not gutted and destroyed. AHCA is class war.

    5 replies 228 retweets 345 likes
  12. Retweeted
    May 2

    *Arrives at pearly gates of heaven* Me: God, why did you let white people kill pepe?

    13 retweets 108 likes
  13. Retweeted
    May 2

    I like my men like I like my coffee: a momentary comfort in the midst of all my suffering

    46 replies 4,719 retweets 9,775 likes
  14. Retweeted
    May 1

    Any 2 white guys could walk up to me and say "we're The Chainsmokers" and I'd believe them.

    412 replies 101,187 retweets 274,913 likes
  15. Apr 28

    Why bother to eat the rich when they'll just eat each other?

  16. Retweeted
    23 Feb 2013

    Quick tip: If you're ever playing charades with Werner Herzog, the answer is "man's futile struggle against nature."

    1 reply 65 retweets 157 likes
  17. Retweeted
    Apr 18

    🌸🌸🌸🌸 🌸 🌸🌸🌸 🌸 🌸 🌸 🌸 🌸 🌸 🌸 🌸 🌸 🌸 🌸 🌸🌸 🌸 🌸 🌸 🌸🌸 🌸 🌸 🌸 🌸 🌸 🌸 🌸 🌸 🌸 🌸

    315 replies 70,044 retweets 94,812 likes
  18. Retweeted
    Apr 14

    Be a bad bitch this Good Friday.

    99 retweets 195 likes
  19. Retweeted
    Apr 10

    What's the death toll from double taking at the justin theroux leftovers poster while driving y'all have blood on ya hands

    4 replies 25 retweets 459 likes
  20. Apr 4

    MEEEEEEEEE

    Just having an existential crisis, what's new
    4 likes

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