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Ben Jenkins
@bencjenkins
Writer/Producer
theidiotreport.comJoined November 2008

Ben Jenkins’s Tweets

So many people on the midjourney discord using it from prompts like "Captain America and Ironman. Photorealistic." and "cool sword. gems". It's just so beautiful to see machine learning and the human imagination combine.
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The whackiest belief I sincerely hold is that the moon tangibly affects the moods and dispositions of my children.
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There are several ways that children are on a unity ticket with goblins, and “love of gems” is one of them for sure.
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I’ve been walking Arlo round the neighbourhood a lot and I always walk past this really nice house and I can see through into the lounge room and they have this massive tv with motion smoothing turned on and one day I know I’m just going to crack it and knock on their door
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Ha ha, bullies! I think you will find I have already dacked mySELF!
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Peter Dutton has been left red faced after declaring to media he plans on “bringing back” work for the dole — only to later learn it was never abolished. #auspol
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There was a moment in a Lano and Woodley stage show where Frank was attacking Col with a fire extinguisher and saying “TAKE IT ALL ON YA”. I saw it close to 20 years ago. It’s barely a joke and I can’t really tell you why it’s so funny but man it’s stayed with me.
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ME: And of course, there was a lot of genuine concern from people at the time that this thing would steal your chippies. MELVYN BRAGG: How so. ME: In any number of ways… MB: (audibly annoyed) yes but specifically. ME: …leaping out of a bush - MB: a bush I see. Alright.
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At its core, Blood Meridian is a story about the power of friendship. As long as Hillcoat remembers that, he should be fine.
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Mo is getting into space lately and I asked him this morning if he knew who the first people on the moon were and he rolled his eyes, actively annoyed, and said “just some guys I don’t even know”, which I think is objectively the funniest way to describe the Apollo 11 astronauts.
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First live FTAGH in ages, likely to be the only one of 2023 on account of Hing’s schedule and my children. We’ve got some excellent guests and Alex. Come!
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My son just parsed the phrase “we only have so many of those stickers” to mean “we have a lot of those stickers” and honestly fair play to the lad, English is full of stupid bullshit.
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As goofy as this verification for all system is, if Musk and his cohort of hangers on weren’t so viscerally unlikable, it may have worked okay. It’s just so rare for someone like Musk to be tangibly punished for just being a nasty asshole so I can see why he didn’t factor it in.
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I’ve always enjoyed the “ah fuck” expression the butterfly is making on the last page of The Very Hungry Caterpillar
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One of the most AI-proof kinds of writing gigs will be work the Annoying Opinion Mines, coz while AI can pump that stuff out trivially, I don’t think we have it in us to care about a robot saying Soup Is Racist in the way we do when there’s a person getting paid $80 to write it.
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We put the wrong recycling bin out. The delicate equilibrium has been thrown off kilter. This will take WEEKS to repair.
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I’ve just discovered I know a truly astonishing amount of Billy Joel by heart, despite never really being that into him. Is this something that white guys just come preloaded with, like how the Sega Master System came with Alex The Kid
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When Killers of The Flower Moon finally comes out and I go see it and it gets to the scene where DiCaprio is sad or grim or maybe just thinking at some kind of family dinner table while a lady to his right looks at him I am going to go absolutely apeshit in the cinema.
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Really love that little nod that parents with a baby strapped to them give other parents with a baby strapped to them. Saw one approach just now while out with Arlo. Thought “i really should say something this time, not just nod”Panicked and said “Baby.” Needs work.
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There is absolutely nothing about Nutbush City Limits that suggests it’s a song that will have a theremin solo, and then bam.
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My son has started shouting “Iron maaaaaan” in a weird American accent and I think it’s something he picked up at preschool. It is easily the most viscerally annoying sound in the world.
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A huge percentage of scams in Australia seem to rely on 1) convincing someone that David Koch is dead or in prison, 2) somehow parlaying that deception into financial gain.
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What’s the last book you read that legitimately, genuinely frightened you. (please do not reply “Hansard” or “The Bible” or “Your damn posts” etc)
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Thank you everyone, great work. If you're in Sydney and interested in helping out, whether that's cooking or serving, or kicking in a bit of cash, their website is here. I'm there helping out some weeks but you don't need to talk to me. tack.org.au
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Oi. My sister runs a street kitchen in Martin Place where they give rough sleepers a feed twice a week. ALL she asks is that you follow their Insta. Maybe also give this an RT. They do good work, who are you to refuse??!? instagram.com/thealfrescokit
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Non-Australian followers only. Holy Grail by Hunters and Collectors: a) I have never heard this song b) I have heard this song c) I know this song very well, the piano bit goes dum dum dum dum dum dum dee dee dum dum dumdee.
  • a
    53.9%
  • b
    10.2%
  • c
    35.9%
295 votesFinal results
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One of the greatest cinematic experiences of my life was watching my wife watch this movie for the first time.
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I think about “and Leon’s getting laaaaarger” a truly staggering amount. I would say that if you’re talking to me at any point, it’s a statistical probability that “and Leon’s getting laaaaarger” has been kicking around in my head like an ear worm for the better part of a week.
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I think about “and Leon’s getting laaaaarger” a truly staggering amount. I would say that if you’re talking to me at any point, it’s a statistical probability that “and Leon’s getting laaaaarger” has been kicking around in my head like an ear worm for the better part of a week.
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Was there a trailer for an action movie that used a cover of Sweet Caroline and edited explosions, gun shots, etc to fall on each of the “BAH BAH BAH”s or did I just have an insanely specific dream
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I’ve been laughing at these two texts from my sister about her four year old for the better part of an hour.
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