maura quintOvjeren akaunt

@behindyourback

Onion contributor, I sometimes write for New Yorker, Paste, Playboy, McSweeney's. Tax March Exec Director, not a journalist, views my own. quintmaura at gmail

somewhere where I don't know where I am
Vrijeme pridruživanja: travanj 2009.

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  1. Prikvačeni tweet
    26. svi 2018.

    it's weird to me when people say their heroes are writers, actors or directors when there are people who say "well, goodnight" and go to bed in the middle of parties they're hosting

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  2. prije 2 sata

    Jacob Wohl is like if Charlie Brown had brain worms and lived in a dumpster full of diapers.

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  3. prije 2 sata

    can someone tell that "you have to eat a salad every day" that I ate a salad today? she seemed worried.

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  4. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    28. tra

    Medicare For All? No thanks, I don't want to pay for other people's health care. I like private insurance, where I pay for other people's health care AND for the salaries of bloodsucking middlemen whose entire purpose is telling me No when I need medicine

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  5. prije 5 sati

    you just hate to see it, folks

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  6. prije 5 sati

    aw, his bootstraps cut off oxygen to his brain :(

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  7. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    prije 8 sati

    ‘Lock down, lock down, let’s all hide Lock the doors and stay inside Crouch on down, don’t make a sound And don’t cry or you’ll be found.’ This harrowing PSA from shows the horrors of an active shooter through the eyes of a young girl

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  8. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    prije 6 sati

    .: why aren’t customers saving money? Taxpayers: we lost our jobs/homes/savings but gave you a $25b bailout Workers: employers don’t pay living wages Economists: rising costs + stagnant wages = 0 savings Chase: guess we’ll never know Everyone: seriously?

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  9. prije 8 sati

    You: why is my balance so low Bank account: you live in a society that systemically denies wealth opportunity to entire populations, increases wealth exponentially for the 1% and allows workers to be exploited while simultaneously blaming them for their system-created hardships

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  10. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    Hey, , why'd you delete this tweet where you tried to flex on poor people after taking a $12 billion dollar bailout?

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  11. prije 9 sati
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  12. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    2. ruj 2017.

    yes children, and it used to be that when a person didn't know a fact they were embarrassed instead of oddly even more arrogant about it

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  13. prije 10 sati

    ahhh there it is, now we're back to normal <3 (confusing messaging though!)

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  14. 29. tra

    I'm not actually that left--there are a lot of people well to the left of me. And the place where I get confused about centrists is I'm so grateful to hard leftists for pushing as left as they do. That only helps all of us. Why would I ever go after them?

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  15. 29. tra

    Person: I just feel better when I eat healthy Me: absolutely

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  16. 29. tra

    spoiler alert: that banana has one more day, max

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  17. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    1. ožu 2016.

    Game of Thrones teaches us a valuable life lesson: it's a bad idea to care about anyone

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  18. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    28. tra

    I wonder why Trump wouldn’t want to deliver the Teacher of the Year award this year? Oh.

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  19. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    Most people don't realize this: not only can incarcerated people not vote, but their population counts towards the (conservative) towns where they are incarcerated when drawing/allocating districts. White people literally amplify their voting power by incarcerating Black people.

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  20. 28. tra

    today I've been called "dumb," "a hater," and an "angry elf," is the discourse getting nicer?!!

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  21. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    28. tra

    No, sorry — millions of people’s lives being destroyed by a failure to aggressively deal with climate change, a health care crisis and economic inequality would not be hilarious.

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