Finally a year where you’re a loser if you DO go out for New Year’s Eve
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Rebecca Kohler
@becca_kohler
Stand-Up. Writer (Happy Together, Schitt's Creek, Workin' Moms, Kim's Convenience). Hey, relax. Tomorrow's another day and you're a great person. IG:
Rebecca Kohler’s Tweets
Tonight, people of Los Angeles! In Hollywood!
#standup #comedy #LosAngeles #standupcomedy #hollywood
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Los Angeles. Next Tuesday. In Hollywood!
#comedy #jokes #standup #standupcomedy #hollywood
#LosAngeles
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TONIGHT 8:30 at - the finest standup show in all of LA.
Brandon Wardell! Laura Kightlinger!
@Dledsinger2funny
Tickets:
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I’ll never forget when I was so anxious about a recent ex I went to a party and thought a potted fern was … him
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I hate it when I can’t find my phone and I’m too distracted by TikTok to look for it
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But what else have they used that butter board for and how well did they wash it?
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Is the day you die on earth your birthday in heaven?
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Brandon Wardell, Laura Kightlinger, and more!
Insane lineup this Friday night
@Dledsinger2funny
Tickets: jetbook.co/calendar/jetpa
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7:30 The Lab Tonight Mermaid Comedy Hour with +more! improv.com/hollywood/even #hollywoodimprov #comedy
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Obi-Wan Cannoli
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Apple does everything it can to addict me to my iPhone and then shames me for it with the Weekly Report. Frankly, it feels abusive.
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Spooky season is officially upon us! Spend Monday 10/10 with your favorite tricks and treats:
🎟: ticketweb.com/event/mermaid-
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Grab a PSL, because it's officially fall you little autumnal freaks. See you Monday 9/12 at 7:30pm :
🎟: ticketweb.com/event/mermaid-
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Captain Bones is out today!
In this stand up special I am fat and psycho. Please enjoy! 🤪
Thank you to and for having me
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If Erewhon was a person
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Remember when Tina Fey was Québécois
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holy shit breath of fucking fresh GD air
watch thru the last second of this
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Fun fact: Ants don't catch Covid because they have these teeny little anty bodies.
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this is how i find out, alone in my car in the parking lot of Joann Fabric
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I hope to be queen one day because I really like the idea of people viciously mocking me the *moment* I’m dead
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Tune to #JFLCanada at 8pmET tonight for The #ComedyTheme w/ ! He's putting the "fun" back in "bodily fun-ctions" w/ tracks from , Keith Pedro & more! It's only on , ch. 168! Themes:
🚽 #Bathrooms
💩 #Poops
🩸 #Periods
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August is like 31 days of Sunday
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When I was first starting in show biz I wrote a check for 1 million dollars and said I’ll cash it by the time I’m 30. Well now I’m 44 and fat and dumb and everyone hates me
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found this picture from maybe the last time i hung out with nick. still seems very unreal. if you never knew , i want to encourage you to seek out his findable body of work. 🤍
read image description
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I love a dress with pockets but would love one with sockets.
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almost finished with this joke about edging
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I have two wonderful children and I love being a mom. I also had two abortions back when I couldn't manage being a mom. My mom made the same choice as a young woman in the early 70s. The right to choose is the right to survival.
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The news coming out of the United States is horrific. My heart goes out to the millions of American women who are now set to lose their legal right to an abortion. I can’t imagine the fear and anger you are feeling right now.
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Overturning Roe v. Wade and denying women the right to control their own bodies is an outrage and in defiance of what the American people want. Democrats must now end the filibuster in the Senate, codify Roe v. Wade, and once again make abortion legal and safe.
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Ted Cruz today is probably like “maybe women should only have one door? That way there’s only one way to get in and get out.”
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“More guns, less compassion,” said America, smiling proudly, not realizing he had a giant piece of spinach in his teeth and the rest of the world could see it. #RoeVWade
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I hate when the before picture is clearly using make up to make someone look bad and the after picture is just the make-up erased
Looking to listen to a podcast not sponsored by Better Help. Are there any?
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One Canadian killed by gun violence is one too many. That’s why we’ve banned 1,500 types of military-style assault firearms. And that’s why, today, we’ve introduced legislation to further strengthen gun control in Canada. Thread ⤵️
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love how living in america feels like shopping in a home depot: who is in charge here? can anybody help us? why is the manager asking the customers for help?
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Whenever I see someone driving a PT Cruiser I just think, “Really? Wow.”
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Doin' a home province special tonight on The #ComedyTheme at 8pmET! We're going #Ontario only w/ comedy from @TheMarthaChaves, , & more! Our themes for the night: 🏙 #Toronto, 🏰 #Ottawa & 🇨🇦 #Canada. It's all on #JFLCanada, ch. 168, on !
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Tune in at 8pmET tonight for The #ComedyTheme! has an #Ontario only hour for ya feat. @TheMarthaChaves, , & more! It's only on #JFLCanada, ch. 168, on ! Tonight's themes:
🏙️#Toronto
🏰#Ottawa
🇨🇦 #Canada
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Drag Race contestant named Ruth Paul
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