I wish this pattern of me liking men who then disappear - but not before ~insisting~ it isn't my fault - became as easy to deal with as it is predictable. it's like every 6 - 12 months now.
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I cannot continue convincing myself it's "not me" when it clearly must be. I'm reliving last year all over again, after managing to avoid liking anyone much for months after the 3 (4?) spectacular trash fire flings of 2016.
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I want to get off this ride. I want very much to stop liking people if it's not going to go anywhere. Life is too short for all these tastes of what I can't have.
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it's like I'm incel but for monogamy
5:54 AM - 14 Nov 2017
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