I'm a stupid idiot who is really good at alienating people. Where did my love go? Where did it go? 
I can't deal with my own stupidity and laziness. I'm killing myself slowly. I'm stuck in this damned program.
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I want to be reprogrammed.
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Is there anything I can do?
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slap me in the face and tell me to wake the fuck up
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Wake the fuck up. (Can't actually slap you from this far. Sorry.)
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I suffer from severe delusions and dissociation. Reality is very unstable and I have a hard time coping with that.
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I don't know who anyone or what anything is. I'm always grasping out, trying to hold onto something.... but there is nothing.
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