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  1. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    15. sij

    The worst part of dating is having to tell your story all over again to a new person like you just got accidentally hung up on by Tech Support.

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  2. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    whatever time i get to work, that’s when god wanted me to arrive

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  3. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    Gays downloading their Spotify Wrapped:

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  4. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    1. lis 2019.

    [me telling my story how I survived a plane crash and lived on a deserted island for a year] it was crazy [friend who once got a text from me where I accidentally called the grinch the grink] was the grink there?

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  5. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    27. stu 2019.

    I wanted to play Dracula because I wanted to say: 'I've crossed oceans of time to find you.' It was worth playing the role just to say that line. - Gary Oldman

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  6. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    9. stu 2019.

    I raise alarm I build suspense I panic much With little sense I mean no harm And no offence I don't do calm I am intense

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  7. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    3. stu 2019.
    Odgovor korisniku/ci
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  8. 22. stu 2019.

    Food delivery apps should have 3 modes: I’m hungover, I’m sad and I’m trying to impress someone I have mediocre sex with.

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  9. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    billionaires: if you make me pay taxes i’ll only have a few billion dollars left :/ bernie:

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  10. 2. stu 2019.

    I was just on the phone with my mom and was complaining about how I have no clean clothes and she’s like “oh you poor baby” as if I’m not in a hell of my own making

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  11. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    8. lis 2019.

    I give every guy I date a 3 red flag rule. The rule is if I find three or more red flags then I become colorblind for the remainder of our toxic relationship

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  12. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    27. lis 2019.

    Sylvia Plath was born on this day in 1932. I remember being knocked out by this passage from 'The Bell Jar' about painful memories the first time I read it: "Maybe forgetfulness, like a kind snow, would numb and cover them. But they were part of me. They were my landscape."

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  13. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    16. lis 2019.

    my therapist: and would you call this guy you’ve been seeing your “boyfriend” ? me (extremely hopeful): would you?

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  14. proslijedio/la je Tweet
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  15. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    1. lis 2019.

    Who among us could have guessed that the guy who created the social network that originated as a way to rank the attractiveness of his female classmates would turn out to be an amoral creep

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  16. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    13. ruj 2019.

    It’s sooooooo messed up that we all go through unspeakable pain just to find someone to like watch tv with everyday for the rest of our lives

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  17. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    11. ruj 2019.

    cutting drugs and alcohol out of your life is good because they make you less sharp . you should always be on edge, always pissed off and insanely close to finally snapping at all times .

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  18. 28. kol 2019.

    My favorite part of vacation is learning what I packed when I was drunk

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  19. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    13. kol 2019.

    every time i see a “ladies how do you expect men to respect you if you’re posting half naked pictures/nudes” tweet i just sit back in awe that someone thinks men will respect us either way lmaoooo

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  20. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    16. kol 2019.

    girls get in a relationship n be on the tl all the time "my bf" this "my bf" that 😒 how about you B F'ing quiet 😂💯

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